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EbonyRose
A1 ·
16549 Forum Posts
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March 29, 2006 8:26 PM |
I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share!  It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
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319
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 8:35 PM
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 8:45 PM
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My brother once suggested a joint project to me. He wanted to write the black man's answer to "Waiting To Exhale" He wanted to call it
"Can't A Brotha Breathe?"
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thayfen
C2 · 126 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 8:51 PM
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"...any woman who can give me some peace."
Two thumbs.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 16549 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 9:05 PM
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Okay, I'm glad it worked!  Yeah, I found it very .... compelling!  And I figured you men folk would like it!  HonestBrother ... Now that's an answer I would like to see!! I didn't really care for our vision ... but from the other side would be quite interesting, I'm sure!!
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Huey
A1 · 4142 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 9:39 PM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
My brother once suggested a joint project to me. He wanted to write the black man's answer to "Waiting To Exhale" He wanted to call it
"Can't A Brotha Breathe?"
HB, if you all need someone to act in it or do the voiceover in the project, then I'm your guy. Send me a PM to get my email address. I need the work anyway.
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 9:54 PM
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quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share! It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.
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thayfen
C2 · 126 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 10:00 PM
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Rowe: That's the point...she would FIND something, no matter how trivial...some people do such things.
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 10:08 PM
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BLACK PEOPLE'S FAVORITE (AND PLAYED OUT) FORM OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION: RUN INTO THE ARMS OF WHITES Oh damn, I forgot, Black women are a bunch of complainers who are complaining about nothing. We have absolutely no reason to complain, however. We just enjoy being dissatisfied, depressed, and unhappy with how things are going in our community, with our sons, fathers, brothers, etc. Please pardon us while some of you seek temporary refuge from the ills of our community by escaping into the arms of White women. That'll solve our problems, for sure! When are we going to get a clue? 
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Huey
A1 · 4142 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 10:08 PM
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quote: Originally posted by thayfen:
Rowe: That's the point...she would FIND something, no matter how trivial...some people do such things.
Exactly! Sounds just like my dad. He will criticize the badness of black people as if whatever physical features he doesn't like, it's written off as a fault. For example, a black NYPD officer saved a little girl's life. Usually NY cops, heck any police officer in America are put under scrutiny (and justifiably so) if they aren't doing their duties. Does my dad congratulate him for saving a girl's life? No, he's pissed off at the cop because the cop is wearing dreadlocks. Looks doesn't have anything with a person's skill or duties. G.W. Bush is an incompetent President, but my dad doesn't comment on his haircut as proof of his incompetence.
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 10:33 PM
(Last Edited: March 29, 2006 at 10:49 PM)
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quote: Originally posted by Huey:
For example, a black NYPD officer saved a little girl's life. Usually NY cops, heck any police officer in America are put under scrutiny (and justifiably so) if they aren't doing their duties. Does my dad congratulate him for saving a girl's life? No, he's pissed off at the cop because the cop is wearing dreadlocks. Looks doesn't have anything with a person's skill or duties.
G.W. Bush is an incompetent President, but my dad doesn't comment on his haircut as proof of his incompetence.
Brother, what does any of this have to do with this sister's set of issues with her husband, of which they mention not one? The video wants us to believe that this woman is married to a supportive husband and loving father, but I would have liked to have heard at least one of his wife's complaints so that I could determine the legitimacy of her complaints myself. But they cleverly leave all of that information out. I don't want to take this video too seriously, but I can't passively stand by while women, Black women especially, are being depicted as "useless whiners" when we, unlike other women in America, are in fact dealing with some of the worst conditions of circumstance in America, circumstances that are very much real and should not be disregarded or dismissed as pointless complaints.
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FireFly
A1 · 4579 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 10:53 PM
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ouch! ouch! ouch! But just a fairy tale! heck, no brotha who looks like that [almost-as-handsome-as-Djimon and rich and successful to boot] ever came running into my arms...  and if he did I wouldn't let him escape believe me!  AND... let's face it.... NEITHER WOULD SHE! unless he secretly has a huge crack habit or he is really a transexual... So that is the answer... obviously he is lacking a personality and is boring as hell! sorry sistas but... this comment was too funny  "hell no! he's gonna kiss the bitch in your driveway!"
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:00 PM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share! It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.
Trust me, Rowe... some black women in this situation would find reasons to complain...
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:01 PM
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quote: Originally posted by art_gurl: ouch! ouch! ouch! But just a fairy tale! heck, no brotha who looks like that [almost-as-handsome-as-Djimon and rich and successful to boot] ever came running into my arms... and if he did I wouldn't let him escape believe me! AND... let's face it.... NEITHER WOULD SHE! unless he secretly has a huge crack habit or he is really a transexual... So that is the answer... obviously he is lacking a personality and is boring as hell! sorry sistas but... this comment was too funny "hell no! he's gonna kiss the bitch in your driveway!"
 I don't know why these men want so badly to ignore these issues and believe that Black women are simply complaining about nothing. There is no way that a woman who has a man who bought her house, bought her a car, takes good care of his child, and looks that damn good is going to complain. Get real.
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:03 PM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by art_gurl: ouch! ouch! ouch! But just a fairy tale! heck, no brotha who looks like that [almost-as-handsome-as-Djimon and rich and successful to boot] ever came running into my arms... and if he did I wouldn't let him escape believe me! AND... let's face it.... NEITHER WOULD SHE! unless he secretly has a huge crack habit or he is really a transexual... So that is the answer... obviously he is lacking a personality and is boring as hell! sorry sistas but... this comment was too funny "hell no! he's gonna kiss the bitch in your driveway!"
I don't why these men want so badly to ignore these issues and believe that Black women are simply complaining about nothing. There is no way that a woman who has a man who bought her house, bought her a car, takes good care of their daughter, and looks that damn good is going to be complaining. Get real.
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:06 PM
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Truth is black women may not be complaining all the time but when they're not complaining they're busy telling men about how to be men and what they should be experiencing as men (AS IF they knew)...
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:07 PM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
Well, Brother Honestbrother, I don't want to play this blame game with you all night, because ultimately, that's what this video seeks to do: Put the blame for why Black relationships are not working all on Black women, but, I am a woman, and every woman that I've known who has ever made a complaint about her relationship had legitimate reasons to complain, very good reasons. Never was she crying just be crying about nothing. In fact, most Black women would love to be in a relationship where they would not have a lot of nonsense to deal with.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 16549 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:09 PM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share! It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.
That's really sad, Rowe. I'm sorry to hear that.  A good Black man is not that hard to find.
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:12 PM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
Well, Brother Honestbrother, I don't want to play this Blame Game with you all night, because really, that's what this video is about: Putting the blame for why Black relationships are not working on Black women, but, I am a woman, and every woman that I've known who has ever complained about her relationship had legitimate reasons to complain, very good reasons.
Isn't it possible.. Just possible that in at least one bad relationship in this country a woman was at fault??????..... Maybe this skit dramtizes that one relationship... So that men like me can feel like we too have a voice... Then another complaining female shows up... GEEZ
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thayfen
C2 · 126 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:12 PM
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This is the truth: I have seen exactly such. I may be an uneducated, working-class mug"”but I have many friends and acquaintances (I'm popular at cocktail parties) who are very wealthy, educated and just as good-looking as the male actor in the skit presented tonight. Yes, they're divorced, and yes, after living single for a number of years they found themselves in relationships with women from other cultures. I've stood on porches and listened to similar exchanges of dialogue"”really.
There's more to this than just "weak-azz blackmen"...but if it makes you feel better"”go right ahead and blame him.
Maybe he has halitosis, of perhaps he makes his $$$ as a male model/actor, maybe he's on the down-low.
--Though it was just a short film/skit, it did strike a cord with us guys. (Now, why is that?)
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:13 PM
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This skit is not about black women and black men
It is about one black woman and one black man
About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...
And you know what? Some of us men can identify...
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FireFly
A1 · 4579 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:17 PM
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This video also highlights the NON-reality of a lot of people's lives male or female... sure, work and aspire and toward making a nice home, driving a nice car, etc. but for some people that vision might be out of reach.... at the core of it all is the relationship - not the material goodies - that is most important and needs a tad more focus. If that guy can afford nice clothes, two houses AND child maintenance, then he's one lucky guy and HE shouldn't be complaining either 
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:17 PM
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I didn't see a "blame game" being played out... I saw a mini-drama where a brother voiced some frustrations that I myself have felt...
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:18 PM
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quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share! It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.
That's really sad, Rowe. I'm sorry to hear that.
Something New Is Really Someting Old It's ok though. I usually don't get myself involved in gender-bashing debates like these because they're pointless, really. In the end, our entire societal structure is the blame for why so many Black families are wrought with problems in comparison to families who represent America's mainstream. Nothing is going to get solved, however, by using other races as social refuge. That whole "I'm going to get me a White woman/man" is so played out to me.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 16549 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:18 PM
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quote: Originally posted by art_gurl: This video also highlights the NON-reality of a lot of people's lives male or female... sure, work and aspire and toward making a nice home, driving a nice car, etc. but for some people that vision might be out of reach.... at the core of it all is the relationship - not the material goodies - that is most important and needs a tad more focus. If that guy can afford nice clothes, two houses AND child maintenance, then he's one lucky guy and HE shouldn't be complaining either
It didn't seem like he was complaining to me ... seemed like he was defending himself!
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EbonyRose
A1 · 16549 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:22 PM
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Okay, so, Rowe ... just out of curiosity ...
Are you saying that a broken Black family is more desireable than happy interracial one? For the daughter, that is.
I mean, in that circumstance, should the parents raise the child in single-parent atmosphere (if they can't find Black mates) rather than the stability of an interracial relationship?
Hypothethically speaking, of course.
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:30 PM
(Last Edited: March 30, 2006 at 12:14 AM)
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quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Okay, so, Rowe ... just out of curiosity ...
Are you saying that a broken Black family is more desireable than happy interracial one? For the daughter, that is.
I mean, in that circumstance, should the parents raise the child in single-parent atmosphere (if they can't find Black mates) rather than the stability of an interracial relationship?
Hyperthethically speaking, of course.
I'm saying, from moving our kids out of public schools to mass migration out of urban communities to boycotting Black-owned businesses, Black people have demonstrated a pattern of community neglect, a tendency to run away from community issues rather than dealing with them head on. Seemingly, our solution to every malady plaguing our communities has been to get the heck of out dodge instead of saying to one another: Let's develop a systematic, workable solution to end these problems in our communities, for good. Dude in the video is punk because rather than dealing with the issues plaguing his marriage, AS EXPECTED, he sought out a fling with a White woman who merely serves as a scapegoat to the problems in his marriage, and that is no way to start a new relationship. I wouldn't want to date any man, Black or White, who is merely dating me because he's on the rebound from his wife. Get your shit together at home first, then maybe we can consider beginning a new relationship. And the White woman riding in his car is a nasty hoar because she sits in the car and sees his wife in broad daylight and sees the man is still married, but foolishly remains in his car anyway while grinning the entire time. But what's so damn funny? The fact that you're coming in between a couple who is clearly in trouble? Or the fact that you're too damn stupid to see the man is using you as a "good time break" from the realities of marriage? Let us know when you figure it out. So both of these individuals have proven to have no integrity. I'm saying, dude is not making intelligent and wise decisions in terms of how he handles conflict in his marriage, and that's probably why his wife has problems with his ass already. And finally, I'm saying that if more men, if more people in general, would simply take seriously the complaints that people are making, rather than chalking these complaints up as "generalized anger against the Black man," then maybe we can get somewhere.
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:32 PM
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Repeat: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
This skit is not about black women and black men
It is about one black woman and one black man
About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...
And you know what? Some of us men can identify...
So are you telling us that we're ALL sorry weak azz niggas? And no matter what, we're to blame? In EVERY single situation?
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Rowe
A1 · 5453 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:47 PM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
So are you telling us that we're ALL sorry weak azz niggas? And no matter what, we're to blame?
In EVERY single situation?
quote: Originally posted by Rowe:
I usually don't get myself involved in gender-bashing debates like these because they're pointless, really. In the end, our entire societal structure is the blame for why so many Black families are wrought with problems in comparison to families who represent America's mainstream.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 16549 Forum Posts
March 29, 2006 at 11:48 PM
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Okey dokey.
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thayfen
C2 · 126 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 12:14 AM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Okay, so, Rowe ... just out of curiosity ...
Are you saying that a broken Black family is more desireable than happy interracial one? For the daughter, that is.
I mean, in that circumstance, should the parents raise the child in single-parent atmosphere (if they can't find Black mates) rather than the stability of an interracial relationship?
Hyperthethically speaking, of course.
I'm saying, from moving our kids out of public schools to mass migration out of urban communities to boycotting Black-owned businesses, Black people have demonstrated a pattern of community neglect, a tendency to run away from community issues rather than dealing with them head on. Seemingly, our solution to every malady plaguing our communities has been to get the heck of out dodge instead of saying to one another: Let's develop a systematic, workable solution to end these problems in our communities, for good. Dude in the video is punk because rather than dealing with the issues plaguing his marriage, AS EXPECTED, he sought out a fling with a "white woman" who merely serves as a scapegoat to the problems in his marriage, and that is no way to start a new relationship. I wouldn't want to date any man, Black or White, who is merely dating me because he's on the rebound from his wife. Get your shit together at home first, then maybe we can consider beginning a new relationship. And the White woman riding in his car is a nasty hoar because she sits in the car and sees his wife in broad daylight and sees the man is still married, but foolishly remains in his car anyway while grinning the entire time. But what's so damn funny? The fact that you're coming in between a couple who is clearly in trouble? Or the fact that you're too damn stupid to see the man is using you as a "good time break" from the realities of marriage? Let us know when you figure it out. So both of these individuals have proven to have no integrity. I'm saying, dude is not making intelligent and wise decisions in terms of how he handles conflict in his marriage, and that's probably why his wife has problems with his ass already. And finally, I'm saying that if more men, if more people in general, would simply take seriously the complaints that people are making, rather than chalking these complaints up as "generalized anger against the Black man," then maybe we can get somewhere.
Go ahead Rowe, tell us how you really feel...
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nayo
A1 · 1017 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 5:30 AM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by Huey:
For example, a black NYPD officer saved a little girl's life. Usually NY cops, heck any police officer in America are put under scrutiny (and justifiably so) if they aren't doing their duties. Does my dad congratulate him for saving a girl's life? No, he's pissed off at the cop because the cop is wearing dreadlocks. Looks doesn't have anything with a person's skill or duties.
G.W. Bush is an incompetent President, but my dad doesn't comment on his haircut as proof of his incompetence.
Brother, what does any of this have to do with this sister's set of issues with her husband, of which they mention not one? The video wants us to believe that this woman is married to a supportive husband and loving father, but I would have liked to have heard at least one of his wife's complaints so that I could determine the legitimacy of her complaints myself. But they cleverly leave all of that information out. I don't want to take this video too seriously, but I can't passively stand by while women, Black women especially, are being depicted as "useless whiners" when we, unlike other women in America, are in fact dealing with some of the worst conditions of circumstance in America, circumstances that are very much real and should not be disregarded or dismissed as pointless complaints.
I understood what 'Huey' was saying: blaming a black person for being black, no matter what the situation, even when there is no guilt to be assigned. I teach, and hear stories of my white colleagues making all sorts of mistakes in their classes, but nary a complaint from the students,white black or other; when I or another black teacher does something intentional or otherwise incorrectly, it is highlighted as a 'black error';a teacher recently told her class that she has 9 cats at home; and that her husband told her,that all these cats in the house and a wife, and I still am not getting that much pu--y! I was told the class laughed; I have made comments (political;race issues etc.) that were nowhere near as 'racy' or inappropriate, and was reported to the dean/ and or'reprimanded' by some 18-19 year old student. In the example I just gave, nothing happened. At any rate, with regards to the 'skit'; the man WAS gorgeous!; the black women were incredibly gorgeous (in case no one noticed); and the 'white woman' appears to be a latin woman, not that it matters. And, of course there are black women who create misery and unhappiness; but they do that to everyone, I've met them; and such venom is not only directed to black men, but to all whom they have dealings with. But, that such behavior is labeled as 'black' or 'black woman' behavior, underlines the point I think 'Huey' was asserting. Certainly cultural behavior is a part of this dialogue, but other racial groups of women have their specifically cultural ways of 'acting out' their unhappiness and aggression; they are just not lambasted for it in the same manner; one, because their status in the U.S is different, and two, they are not the scapegoats for their respective communities. Their 'behavior' is simply trumped up to 'that time of the month; or just a woman thing; or a 'rich girl thing'; or 'she's a b--tch; when it's a black woman, it's because 'she's a black woman'; ergo the remedy, blame these dynamics on the race, eschewing the social backdrop or individual personalities of the individual black woman. First of all, why would you bring your 'new' white woman to your 'ex's' house? Height of disrespect. True, the man in this scenario is free to do as he pleases; but he would have to know that that would bring drama. And that speech he gives in the door way now that, was tired; more like commentary on the sad state of affairs between black men and women after the Civil Rights Movement/integration. I get what the director/writer is saying, but, the sweeping generalization it makes was too simplistic to be taken seriously or wholly appreciated..... by me. Why couldn't the problem between this couple, be the problem of people no longer in love with one another; as opposed to an ingrate black woman? There's the rub. I undertand however, that that was not the writers intent; but was perhaps an excuse to 'explain' why the black man 'has left the building'. I am in agreement with 'Rowe's' critical analysis.
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 6:03 AM
(Last Edited: March 30, 2006 at 1:33 PM)
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I do NOT buy this black women bearing the blame for everything BS. In every venue that I've ever seen where black men (the few there were) had the audacity to complain about women they're immediately shouted down by black women (as in this Forum).... The only medium where the male voice is unchallenged is hip hop music - which very rarely speaks for me nowadays.... One again, my perception as an educated black man is that those like myself have NO voice whatsoever in this culture.... And the discourse seems to be dominated by females who have no problem whatsoever completely disowning any responsibility in the current state of affairs... No matter what the occasion or the discussion there will be a hundred apologists for the black female... I think it reflects the old adage that "history is written from the perspective of the victors"... And this is one way in which the black man is losing the 'battle of the sexes' and paying for his lack of education vis-a-vis black women: the black woman is insulating herself from any criticism and winning the cultural debate by sheer force of numbers and access to 'respectable' media... although it's not exactly clear what "victory" means here... it is clear, to me anyway, that the discourse is out of balance... So I'll repost once more quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: Repeat: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
This skit is not about black women and black men
It is about one black woman and one black man
About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...
And you know what? Some of us men can identify...
So are you telling us that we're ALL sorry weak azz niggas? And no matter what, we're to blame? In EVERY single situation?
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 6:11 AM
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The topic could be having 5 kids by five different men and there will be 100 apologists for the black woman rationalizing her behavior...
The topic could be man sharing and there will be 100 apologists for the black woman...
The topic could be "Why in the world am I single and these ex-convict brothas seem to have no trouble finding women?" and there will be 100 apologists for the black woman... People say in regard to this issue with a completely straight face "You can't blame a woman for wanting to feel protected."
This ish is getting tired...
<--------------- A Tired Black Man
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Khalliqa
A1 · 7901 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 6:30 AM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Okay, so, Rowe ... just out of curiosity ...
Are you saying that a broken Black family is more desireable than happy interracial one? For the daughter, that is.
I mean, in that circumstance, should the parents raise the child in single-parent atmosphere (if they can't find Black mates) rather than the stability of an interracial relationship?
Hyperthethically speaking, of course.
I'm saying, from moving our kids out of public schools to mass migration out of urban communities to boycotting Black-owned businesses, Black people have demonstrated a pattern of community neglect, a tendency to run away from community issues rather than dealing with them head on. Seemingly, our solution to every malady plaguing our communities has been to get the heck of out dodge instead of saying to one another: Let's develop a systematic, workable solution to end these problems in our communities, for good. Dude in the video is punk because rather than dealing with the issues plaguing his marriage, AS EXPECTED, he sought out a fling with a White woman who merely serves as a scapegoat to the problems in his marriage, and that is no way to start a new relationship. I wouldn't want to date any man, Black or White, who is merely dating me because he's on the rebound from his wife. Get your shit together at home first, then maybe we can consider beginning a new relationship. And the White woman riding in his car is a nasty hoar because she sits in the car and sees his wife in broad daylight and sees the man is still married, but foolishly remains in his car anyway while grinning the entire time. But what's so damn funny? The fact that you're coming in between a couple who is clearly in trouble? Or the fact that you're too damn stupid to see the man is using you as a "good time break" from the realities of marriage? Let us know when you figure it out. So both of these individuals have proven to have no integrity. I'm saying, dude is not making intelligent and wise decisions in terms of how he handles conflict in his marriage, and that's probably why his wife has problems with his ass already. And finally, I'm saying that if more men, if more people in general, would simply take seriously the complaints that people are making, rather than chalking these complaints up as "generalized anger against the Black man," then maybe we can get somewhere.
 Beautiful Rowe....
Beautiful Rowe.....
Peace,
Virtue
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qty226
A1 · 1037 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 6:51 AM
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I also agree with Rowe..... This black man, mentioned that his new woman.........'balanced' his life.  Instead of stablizing his life.......he looked to this (new) woman, to do it for him. That in itself, will cause failure. Also......it was interesting to hear him speak of all he has paid for.........the house, the car, furnture, as if his wife did nothing! Money here was not the issue.....and this in it self, doesnt make you a strong black man. To me, hes an emotional reck.........and no matter who he has as a wife/girl friend........he will have issues. (Case and point......his judgement is poor. Why bring your girl friend, to your ex wifes home?.........does he have a pattern of this type of behavior? Also its obvious, that they discussed IR relationships, prior to this happening.) As far as his wife......we cant say that she was perfect, without fault. But i can say this.........society doesnt allow black men OR black women to become TIRED. No matter how much he money he makes, or gain in life........he will always be a black man, making less, and working more. If hes tired now.......hes going to be in big trouble later!!!
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bigddouble
A1 · 3174 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 7:48 AM
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HB - I know it's tough because you've articulated your principal issue with the turn this thread has taken and no lady has acknowledged it. Sometimes, you have to take the beating to get your point out there. Keep your chin up brother! When people are hurting, it's tough to see someone elses pain. I think an honest look at the issues behind the growing divide between Black men & women would do us all some good. Some of the problems are the result of bad decisions, but some are the direct result of manipulation. Sadly, we don't always recognize the puppet strings on our backs...
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 8:17 AM
(Last Edited: March 30, 2006 at 9:16 AM)
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: I do NOT buy this black women bearing the blame for everything BS. In every venue that I've ever seen where black men (the few there were) had the audacity to complain about women they're immediately shouted down by black women (as in this Forum).... The only medium where the male voice is unchallenged is hip hop music - which very rarely speaks for me nowadays.... One again, my perception as an educated black man is that those like myself have NO voice whatsoever in this culture.... And the discourse seems to be dominated by females who have no problem at all completely disowning any responsibility in the current state of affairs... No matter what the occasion or the discussion there will be a hundred apologists for the black female... I think it reflects the old adage that "history is written from the perspective of the victors"... And this is one way in which the black man is losing the 'battle of the sexes' and paying for his lack of education vis-a-vis black women: the black woman is insulating herself from criticism and winning the cultural debate by SHEER FORCE OF NUMBERS and access to "respectable" media... although it's not exactly clear what "victory" means here... it is clear, to me anyway, that the discourse is out of balance...So I'll repost once more quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: Repeat: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
This skit is not about black women and black men
It is about one black woman and one black man
About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...
And you know what? Some of us men can identify...
So are you telling us that we're ALL sorry weak azz niggas? And no matter what, we're to blame? In EVERY single situation?
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 8:18 AM
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Thanks for proving my point ya'll
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9114 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 8:24 AM
(Last Edited: March 30, 2006 at 7:14 PM)
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Repeat: We educated successful responsible childless men out there lack a voice... And we're being drowned out by a chorus of females who claim we don't exist. Rowe wants to know why we don't stick around to help solve the problems... You know what? WE are not going to be solving any problems by ME taking all the responsibility and paying the penalties for another man's f*ck ups...I don't have baby mama drama cause I don't have no babies... If that's how you females are going to insist on running the discourse, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to have a problem if I prefer to deal with white women who DON'T hold me responsible for every other man they've known and then top it off with the insult of refusing to listen to my point of view. The ONLY one of you who have engaged me on this thread is EbonyRose... Why should I want to deal with women who seem to think my ONLY function is to listen to them???????? Then there's something wrong with me when I walk out the door and show up a few weeks later with a white woman? Sheeeesh... you're kidding right?
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bigddouble
A1 · 3174 Forum Posts
March 30, 2006 at 8:28 AM
(Last Edited:
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