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cakeaholic
C3 · 68 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 9:11 AM
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Very interesting clip from a movie, and I think people are reading way too much into it. Basically all I feel its saying is, no one is perfect including BLACK WOMEN I know thats hard to believe for some but its true. No one ever seems to reflect on themselves about why they struggle is some areas of life. Maybe the couples relationship in the clip has simply run its course, he said he was tired of the bs. Sometimes people just make bad choices,if every man you meet is a no good weak ass nigga, then what does that say about you. Plus on the flip side if every woman you meet is is a materialic, vein egotistical shop-a-holic chick that doesnt know whats really important in life, then what does that really say about you. Also raising a kid in a unhappy marriage is not a good thing.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 17,636 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 12:37 PM
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Okay ... after another looksee just to be sure, here's my $.02: I, personally, give it a big  ... in fact, I'll make it two . Taking out all the speculations, innuendos, imaginations, and all else that have gone into some of the comments here, the bottom line for me is that NO man that provides his wife a house, a car, all the furniture in the house, pays monthly alimony and child support checks AND is willing to be an active participant in his child's life can EVER be a weak ass nigga!  If that's the case, what do you call the kind of brotha that sits home 9 months out of the year while his wife works, drives her car, spends her money and after she kicks him out, can't manage to send a birthday card to his own child once a year??  And does that make him more of a man just because he's not with a white woman?? There is no indication in this film that the two are still married, how long they've been divorced (the films description does have the word "ex-wife" in it) what the circumstances of their break up was, or what kind of "drama" was experienced during the marriage. To infer any of that doesn't really make for a valid argument against the film. Also, the female didn't deny that he had in fact paid for the house, the car, the furniture or was not paying the alimony. So, again, I don't understand the inference that he's a liar or that he didn't do those things by himself. And why has no one commented on the fact that one of the Black women admitted to dating a White man? Is she a weak ass sista?? Just based solely on the 3+ minutes of film that was shown (and taking into account that it was a film and not a reality show!) I could get a lot madder about it if I didn't know someone like each and every one of the characters in it!! If I didn't know one Black woman that ever gave a man unnecessary drama, if I didn't know one good Black man that handled his business and fully supported his family, or if I didn't know one Black woman that would sit up and talk shit to another woman's husband (ex- or otherwise) while not even having a man herself ... then I could take this film as pure fiction. But, I happen to find a distinctive ring of truth to it, and as far as I'm concerned, those women really needed to be told what was said to them ... by somebody in a position to say it! As far as what was said in the film, dude fit that description. At least to me, anyway. I also don't think dude all that fine ... but, I can't imagine myself standing in the doorway of a house I couldn't say I paid for and talking shit to the man who did! Especially when I'm still collecting!
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 12:45 PM
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Thanks, EbonyRose... not for taking the "side" of black men "over" black women... but for showing appreciation for one black man in a concrete (albeit fictional) scenario... 
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xxGAMBITxx
A1 · 1,343 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 1:48 PM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: Thanks, EbonyRose... not for taking the "side" of black men "over" black women... but for showing appreciation for one black man in a concrete (albeit fictional) scenario...
And for deconstructing and analyzing the video in an objective manner.
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nayo
A1 · 1,017 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 1:58 PM
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And that concludes the 'Porgy n' Bess' smackdown... 
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 2:15 PM
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quote: Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: Thanks, EbonyRose... not for taking the "side" of black men "over" black women... but for showing appreciation for one black man in a concrete (albeit fictional) scenario...
And for deconstructing and analyzing the video in an objective manner.
Are you saying this, because Ebonyrose agreed with you? Or are you making your OWN conclusions concerning this videos. As far as im concerned this video was too short to pinpoint exactly what happened.......therefore any comments concerning such, is subjective. *you know i lub ya..........so be nice when you respond* Honestbrother, i dont think the sistas (here) are saying that all black men are weak, and have no voice. This is always a harsh topic, because we know that both sides, have work to do, and it hurts. We have to now figure out how to get back to the basics of loving each other....and having strong families. Im tired of the causes......and no solutions. 
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bigddouble
A1 · 3,180 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 2:50 PM
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I watched it again & I still don't see the reason for the turn this thread took. The scenario could have occurred regardless of the color of his new woman. His mistakes were: 1) Bringing his new love interest to his ex's house. 2) Engaging his ex in the presence of her friends The guy didn't blame his ex, he simply stated he was tired of fighting & needed some balance. He said he would be happy to find any woman that could help him achieve this. IMO, the turn this topic took is like those finish the story books we read as children. Your feelings & experiences shape the details you add & emphasize to the clip. Taken only for what is presented, the clip is about a man looking for relief after a failed relationship. The woman in the car is not grinning and we do not know how long they've been divorced. Assuming she is a rebound woman is just that, an assumption. Wonder how the responses would go if the woman in the car was a sister?
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cakeaholic
C3 · 68 Forum Posts
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March 30, 2006 at 8:24 PM
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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March 31, 2006 at 5:06 AM
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quote: Originally posted by ddouble: I watched it again & I still don't see the reason for the turn this thread took. The scenario could have occurred regardless of the color of his new woman. His mistakes were: 1) Bringing his new love interest to his ex's house. 2) Engaging his ex in the presence of her friends
I agree, these were two biggggggg mistakes. Wonder how the responses would go if the woman in the car was a sister? -ddouble I believe the reaction would've been the same.
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EbonyRose
A1 · 17,636 Forum Posts
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March 31, 2006 at 9:17 PM
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You're most welcome, HB & xxGambitxx! I like to give credit where credit is due!  And I'm not always on the guy's side. In Diary of a Mad Black Woman, I was the first one  when girlfriend rolled her husband up into that bathtub!! That, too, was justice!  And I agree with ddouble about bringing the new girl to the ex-wife's house. Unless she's the new wife, she really had no business on the premises! However, again, I do believe he was defending himself more than "engaging". He went to the door to pick up his daughter and was met with attitude and hostility from every female in the room! He didn't start that conversation, so I would call him more of the engagee! 
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Blackmalefire
D5 · 1 Forum Post
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April 17, 2006 at 12:40 PM
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That's the point... Too many brothers who do what they are supposed to do are catching hell just because their women don't understand how to have relationships. That's the point. Some would rather have an erroneously perceived advantage through conflict rather than through loving cooperation. quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by EbonyRose: I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share! It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works! A Tired Black Man
Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.
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FireFly
A1 · 4,579 Forum Posts
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April 17, 2006 at 2:16 PM
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quote: Originally posted by LoopyLoops: They set up their own website: www.tiredblackman.com
 and there's a movie coming too...? Too much... can you IMAGINE? They'll be R-I-C-H !!! Worth me flying over to see it LOL.
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MidLifeMan
A1 · 906 Forum Posts
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April 17, 2006 at 2:38 PM
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quote: Thanks, EbonyRose... not for taking the "side" of black men "over" black women... but for showing appreciation for one black man in a concrete (albeit fictional) scenario...
 MAN!! I don't know how I missed this one. I was reading some of the threads and had to go back and watch the video again thinking I missed something...talk about different perspectives.
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MidLifeMan
A1 · 906 Forum Posts
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April 17, 2006 at 2:42 PM
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quote: I agree, these were two biggggggg mistakes
No. His only mistake was obviously marrying his ex-wife. They are divorced. He has moved on. And it doesn't really matter the race of the woman. If he has the legal right to pick up his child then he can regradless of who he is dating. Now I know why my wife had a strick rule about dating men with ex-wifes and kids...BABY MOMMA DRAMA. quote: unless she's the new wife, she really had no business on the premises!
That does not matter. If his EX-wife is not mature enough (probably the reason for the 4 year drama and end of the marriage) to deal with the fact that he has move on then that is HER problem. She can't dictate who the man has in HIS car.
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AudioGuy
A1 · 3,392 Forum Posts
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April 18, 2006 at 9:30 AM
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If the ex-wife would let her "girls" disrespect the father of her daughter when he has obviously has been responsible is clearly wrong. The video does not really give enough info to assess why they are not together, but there are any number of reasons for people not to be together... outside of a nice home/car/good looks. Lastly, we ALL know that in a real life scenario, the sisters would never have even seen the "white girl" in the car, because we know that Black people don't sit around with the blinds up! Only white folks do that!  Black folks don't want nobody looking in their house!   
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bigddouble
A1 · 3,180 Forum Posts
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April 18, 2006 at 10:23 AM
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quote: Originally posted by AudioGuy: Lastly, we ALL know that in a real life scenario, the sisters would never have even seen the "white girl" in the car, because we know that Black people don't sit around with the blinds up! Only white folks do that! Black folks don't want nobody looking in their house!
True!! 
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Black Viking
A1 · 3,009 Forum Posts
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April 18, 2006 at 1:24 PM
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quote: Originally posted by AudioGuy: Lastly, we ALL know that in a real life scenario, the sisters would never have even seen the "white girl" in the car, because we know that Black people don't sit around with the blinds up! Only white folks do that! Black folks don't want nobody looking in their house!
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19hulady13
D4 · 13 Forum Posts
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April 18, 2006 at 3:03 PM
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I will give brothers the fact that some Black females are never satisfied... especially as our world becomes more materialistic... but that's what happens you play with girls. Where are you meeting these women? She didn't start complaining as soon as the ring went on~ why did you ignore the signs? (and the same can be said to us women) There just seems to be too many beautiful Black women with their acts together for this movie to have a strong foundation. It does not apply to your typical Black woman, but rather your stereotypical Black woman. Black women have been supporting and encouraging our men for centuries. And perhaps some of us take knowing what we deserve to another level where we make it difficult on our brothers. That's where honest and open communication comes in. The truth is, both sides have valid complaints. But what good fight was ever won by running away? And no, a good relationship shouldn't be a struggle~ but it also can't be mistaken for having a yes-man/woman by your side. Neither of you will reach your greatest potential that way. When did we become so satisfied with mediocrity?
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Hotep
D5 · 1 Forum Post
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April 19, 2006 at 12:25 AM
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quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
Well, Brother Honestbrother, I don't want to play this blame game with you all night, because ultimately, that's what this video seeks to do: Put the blame for why Black relationships are not working all on Black women, but, I am a woman, and every woman that I've known who has ever made a complaint about her relationship had legitimate reasons to complain, very good reasons. Never was she crying just be crying about nothing. In fact, most Black women would love to be in a relationship where they would not have a lot of nonsense to deal with.
What never ceases to amaze me is how defensive our sistas get when a brotha writes a movie that touches grey areas with our sistas. From a black mans point of view, so may take this position but I personally don't feel it necessary to venture off into other areas. The problem that I'm having with your post is that you became defensive with this little sketch but when 'Waiting to Exhale' was playing... there were a lot of sistas in agreement with the X-wife feelings. It seem to me that black men shouldn't have a point of view and when they do they are immediately chopped up for it. Statistically, the percentage of middle class African Americans in this country is 3/4 percent. The percentage of African Americans that are rich is within the 5 percent. So to think for one minute that this situation is not likely is to show a lack of education about the current situation of our people. My sista, this is happening to African American men constantly and to belittle that would be as an abuser belittling his assult on a sista. When 'Waiting to Exhale' came out, we as men were forced to face ourselves but when a simple little clip is played... our sistas become defensive and try to argue the point instead of listening to a different point of view. Going to a white woman is not the answer and it is not the choice that I would ever make, especially for the sake of blaming a black woman. I love my sistas but it seems that this movie proving other point, with our black womens inablity to listen. I dropped those stats because many woman on different forums dealing with this topic has felt the same way as you but and many say this case is highly unlikely. This says a lot about how much attention we pay to ourselves. This is happening consistantly and it needs to be address. This brotha loved this woman as he explained that he was with her for 7 years; 4 married and 3 as boyfriend/girlfriend... and secondly that he was never into a white woman... so it wasn't his choice to fall in love with a white woman, but that he was looking for what he got married for in the first place.....LOVE!!! He didn't threaten to take the womans house, money, furniture or anything... he was simply pointing out that he is a man that handle his and their are many black men out there doing the same. I am one of them, but the difference is if I leave my argumentative wife, then it will be because we couldn't get along and not because I'm looking for a white woman... If I do get into a relationship with a white womwn which I highly doubt... then it was written in the plan. Peace!~
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 5:49 AM
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Hotep.......
Black women are defensive.....because this happens a LOT in the black community.
Black men, that cant deal with marriage.....family etc, walking awaying from their families.
Although not every marriage will work out, its still a harsh situation to deal with.
And believe me, i've never seen two people, divorcing.........where they both didnt contribute to the pain.
No one comes out a winner!!
The key is learning from these experiences.....
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 6:19 AM
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quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Hotep.......
Black women are defensive.....because this happens a LOT in the black community.
The key is learning from these experiences.....
Qty, you're right... but something else that happens A LOT in the black community is that we can make whole movies ("DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN", "WAITING TO EXHALE", etc.) and books and seminars and self help and talk shows (Oprah) and magazines centering MOSTLY on the female perspective... And all of it is great and wonderful... and we're supposed to all think it's great and wonderful... But if a black man (who is not rapping) so much as makes a peep about the world the way he sees it?... And then the women wonder why we can't express our feelings.
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 7:12 AM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Hotep.......
Black women are defensive.....because this happens a LOT in the black community.
The key is learning from these experiences.....
Qty, you're right... but something else that happens A LOT in the black community is that we can make whole movies ("DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN", "WAITING TO EXHALE", etc.) and books and seminars and self help and talk shows (Oprah) and magazines centering MOSTLY on the female perspective... And all of it is great and wonderful... and we're supposed to all think it's great and wonderful... But if a black man (who is not rapping) so much as makes a peep about the world the way he sees it?... And then the women wonder why we can't express our feelings.
Im not too sure, why a mans point of view is never addressed. My thoughts it could be, because usually a man bounce back faster in these situations than women. In the other thread we talked about marriage.......and it seems that the majority of men actually move on......leaving women with children etc. Woman have to learn how to deal with these situations........because it seems as though you men, move on quickly. (Im not saying this happens to everyone, and i do know that all situations are different.......but it happens)
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 8:03 AM
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quote: Originally posted by qty226: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Hotep.......
Black women are defensive.....because this happens a LOT in the black community.
The key is learning from these experiences.....
Qty, you're right... but something else that happens A LOT in the black community is that we can make whole movies ("DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN", "WAITING TO EXHALE", etc.) and books and seminars and self help and talk shows (Oprah) and magazines centering MOSTLY on the female perspective... And all of it is great and wonderful... and we're supposed to all think it's great and wonderful... But if a black man (who is not rapping) so much as makes a peep about the world the way he sees it?... And then the women wonder why we can't express our feelings.
Im not too sure, why a mans point of view is never addressed. My thoughts it could be, because usually a man bounce back faster in these situations than women. In the other thread we talked about marriage.......and it seems that the majority of men actually move on......leaving women with children etc. Woman have to learn how to deal with these situations........because it seems as though you men, move on quickly. (Im not saying this happens to everyone, and i do know that all situations are different.......but it happens)
Qty, aren't you assuming rather a lot?... So ALL the brothers just move on? In fact, this thread was started by a video about a brotha who didn't "move on"... What about us brothas who don't "move on"????? This is the problem: black cultural discourse is disturbingly femi-centric and it seems to always begin on the assumption that black men aren't shit... Maybe this is a self-fulfilling prophecy? Qty, answer this question: If you were a black man who worked hard your whole life... avoided becoming a statistic... responsible... hardworking... but still had to deal with this massive disrespect coming from your so-called sisters ... with no support system or voice to speak of.... would you want to stick around?Maybe if the women would shut up for the space of a heart beat and listen we might make some progress?
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Khalliqa
A1 · 7,901 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 8:27 AM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Maybe if the women would shut up for the space of a heart beat and listen we might make some progress?
HB?
please......
calm.....
down.....
Peace,
Virtue
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 9:39 AM
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I am calm... I'm also fed up...
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 10:55 AM
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Honestbrother..........you asked me a question, and i replied as best i could. I only gave an example, as to why sistas 'may' receive more advice then brothas. Every reply concerning this video, will be based on assumptions, and what 'ifs', because we dont know enough about what happened in this situation. You asked me this.... "Qty, answer this question: If you were a black man who worked hard your whole life... avoided becoming a statistic... responsible... hardworking... but still had to deal with this massive disrespect coming from your so-called sisters ... with no support system or voice to speak of.... would you want to stick around?" Im going to answer you as best as i can...... I know that there are brothas like yourself.....that are doing, and being the best they can be. If it werent for brothas such as yourself, family members.....that constantly give me food for thought........i would've walked away from black men a long time ago. So i dont want you to think that your thoughts and feelings are useless........we are listening. We may not always agree, becaue of course men/women think differently.......but i'll always repect your points of view. So yes, im sticking around.........and i hope you do the same. *Now the next time you scream at me, im going to do this.......  
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 11:20 AM
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quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Honestbrother..........you asked me a question, and i replied as best i could. I only gave an example, as to why sistas 'may' receive more advice then brothas.
My point was not about who gets advice... my point was about who seems entitled to self-expression... my point was that it seems like every time a brotha expresses himself about anything except how great women are, a bunch of women pile on...but opportunities for females to express themselves about whatever abound... and you rarely hear them appreciate black men... quote:
You asked me this....
"Qty, answer this question: If you were a black man who worked hard your whole life... avoided becoming a statistic... responsible... hardworking... but still had to deal with this massive disrespect coming from your so-called sisters ... with no support system or voice to speak of.... would you want to stick around?"
Im going to answer you as best as i can......
If you were in my shoes? Yes or no? quote: *Now the next time you scream at me, im going to do this.......
I did not "scream"... I expressed myself... thank you... Don't get me started - the suppression of the black male voice begins with their mothers and those 'switches'... that's where this dysfunctional pattern begins IMO...
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 11:57 AM
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quote: Qty, you're right... but something else that happens A LOT in the black community is that we can make whole movies ("DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN", "WAITING TO EXHALE", etc.) and books and seminars and self help and talk shows (Oprah) and magazines centering MOSTLY on the female perspective...
If you read my response.......you would've realized that THIS is what i responded to. quote: My point was not about who gets advice... my point was about who seems entitled to self-expression... my point was that it seems like every time a brotha expresses himself about anything except how great women are, a bunch of women pile on...but opportunities for females to express themselves about whatever abound... and you rarely hear them appreciate black men...
Yes we are all entitled to self expression.......but you must ask yourself, to whom are you expressing your feelings to? ........and why is it that these women not listening TO YOU?? I paid you a compliment....and you discounted it to continue to complain.....!! I wont do it again....that you can bet on. This is a forum, and you can express yourself.........stop making blank statements, and say what exactly you feel the problem is!! *Sistas dont listen, is the not the answer* quote: "Qty, answer this question: If you were a black man who worked hard your whole life... avoided becoming a statistic... responsible... hardworking... but still had to deal with this massive disrespect coming from your so-called sisters ... with no support system or voice to speak of.... would you want to stick around?"
This was a loaded question, and i tried to answer it without discounting your feelings.............you wanna know why? Because women could say the same thing about men....!! So guess what, we get no where. .....And your comment about 'mothers'.......at least the children have someone that cares for them.....only after the fathers (some) walk away from them. *im done with this*
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 12:09 PM
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quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Yes we are all entitled to self expression.......
Again my point was that the female voice dominates.... quote:
but you must ask yourself, to whom are you expressing your feelings to? ........and why is it that these women not listening TO YOU??
Quite frankly, because they really don't know how to listen... You may not want to hear it but too many sistas don't listen...unless it's something they want to listen to...
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qty226
A1 · 1,037 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 12:33 PM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: quote: Originally posted by qty226:
Yes we are all entitled to self expression.......
Again my point was that the female voice dominates.... quote:
but you must ask yourself, to whom are you expressing your feelings to? ........and why is it that these women not listening TO YOU??
Quite frankly, because they really don't know how to listen... You may not want to hear it but too many sistas don't listen...unless it's something they want to listen to...
Yeah ok.... 
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TRU
C3 · 80 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 7:18 PM
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Isn't it possible.. Just possible that in at least one bad relationship in this country a woman was at fault??????..... Maybe this skit dramtizes that one relationship... So that men like me can feel like we too have a voice... Then another complaining female shows up... GEEZ[/QUOTE] There are many women who love to create drama and seem to be driven by arguments and the like why this is I will never know. But yes it is more than possible that one bad relationship is due to a woman. In fact far more than one. 
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HonestBrother
A1 · 9,116 Forum Posts
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April 19, 2006 at 7:40 PM
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quote: Originally posted by TRU: quote:
Isn't it possible.. Just possible that in at least one bad relationship in this country a woman was at fault??????.....
Maybe this skit dramatizes that one relationship...
So that men like me can feel like we too have a voice...
Then another complaining female shows up... GEEZ
There are many women who love to create drama and seem to be driven by arguments and the like why this is I will never know. But yes it is more than possible that one bad relationship is due to a woman. In fact far more than one.
TRU, you must be planning to be popular on this here site! Welcome aboard, sista! If there's anything you need just ask
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V-Man
D5 · 1 Forum Post
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April 24, 2006 at 5:10 AM
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April 24, 2006 at 5:44 AM
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Rowe don't mean to disappoint you, but there are a lot of black women out there like that. I know from experience. I have had "good" jobs all of my life, I learned early in life that manual labor was not for me. I don't know if you consider me attractive, but I never seem to have problems meeting women. You see I was a black man who had a child. Our relationship didn't work out. That was okay things happen. As far as my daughter was concerned I lived and breathed her. Wherever I went she went, my ex girlfriend would have to beg my daughter to go with her. I allowed my ex to pick out what daycare she went to, parties themes and most things to do with my daughter and I paid the bill. Any time she needed clothes, we would go to whatever store she wanted to and I would buy whatever she liked. My daughter stayed with me most of the time, but my ex could come and get her any time she wanted. Only thing I asked my ex to pay for was the food or activities she did while she was with her mother. Her friends bragged about how good of a father I was and how lucky she was. The relationship, her fault - my fault, doesn't matter. After a while my ex started listening to her friends about how much money she could get out of me for child support. Even though I asked her to pay for nothing, I was doing everything from learning how to comb her hair to teaching her how to read and write (we even got out pictures and a write-up in the Atlanta Journal Constitution), she still couldn't be happy. To make a long story short we ended up in child custody and I lost custody. That was the easy part, during the battle I found out that my daughter was not my daughter. I had to give her up along with all parental rights that I had. My life and my daughter's life was shattered because all her mother cared about was the money. It happens, I know other black men that have gone through a similar type situation. Unfortunately you don't get to hear from us, because it is considered to be "weak" when a man cries out. We are there. I'm not a tired black man - just disappointed! quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
Well, Brother Honestbrother, I don't want to play this blame game with you all night, because ultimately, that's what this video seeks to do: Put the blame for why Black relationships are not working all on Black women, but, I am a woman, and every woman that I've known who has ever made a complaint about her relationship had legitimate reasons to complain, very good reasons. Never was she crying just be crying about nothing. In fact, most Black women would love to be in a relationship where they would not have a lot of nonsense to deal with.
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Tre
A1 · 572 Forum Posts
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April 24, 2006 at 9:28 AM
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wow!!! I'm stunned at where this conversation has gone.
Just as someone aske in a previous post, isn't it possible that a relationship can end due to the actions of all parties involved? I find it hard to believe that blanket statements such as '...if "you" women would listen...' Too many times, both parties in a relationship have a hard time communicating--so where is all of this blame coming fromY'all are gonna make me head for the bar. Again. (Actually I was headed there to cheer on the Cubs and Bulls)
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TRU
C3 · 80 Forum Posts
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April 24, 2006 at 9:51 AM
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quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother: quote: Originally posted by TRU: quote:
Isn't it possible.. Just possible that in at least one bad relationship in this country a woman was at fault??????.....
Maybe this skit dramatizes that one relationship...
So that men like me can feel like we too have a voice...
Then another complaining female shows up... GEEZ
There are many women who love to create drama and seem to be driven by arguments and the like why this is I will never know. But yes it is more than possible that one bad relationship is due to a woman. In fact far more than one.
TRU, you must be planning to be popular on this here site! Welcome aboard, sista! If there's anything you need just ask
Thanks, I just speak what I know to be TRU. I have witnessed many episodes of ignorant women and men as well.
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calvin
D1 · 36 Forum Posts
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April 24, 2006 at 1:24 PM
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quote: Originally posted by V-Man: Rowe don't mean to disappoint you, but there are a lot of black women out there like that. I know from experience. I have had "good" jobs all of my life, I learned early in life that manual labor was not for me. I don't know if you consider me attractive, but I never seem to have problems meeting women. You see I was a black man who had a child. Our relationship didn't work out. That was okay things happen. As far as my daughter was concerned I lived and breathed her. Wherever I went she went, my ex girlfriend would have to beg my daughter to go with her. I allowed my ex to pick out what daycare she went to, parties themes and most things to do with my daughter and I paid the bill. Any time she needed clothes, we would go to whatever store she wanted to and I would buy whatever she liked. My daughter stayed with me most of the time, but my ex could come and get her any time she wanted. Only thing I asked my ex to pay for was the food or activities she did while she was with her mother. Her friends bragged about how good of a father I was and how lucky she was. The relationship, her fault - my fault, doesn't matter. After a while my ex started listening to her friends about how much money she could get out of me for child support. Even though I asked her to pay for nothing, I was doing everything from learning how to comb her hair to teaching her how to read and write (we even got out pictures and a write-up in the Atlanta Journal Constitution), she still couldn't be happy. To make a long story short we ended up in child custody and I lost custody. That was the easy part, during the battle I found out that my daughter was not my daughter. I had to give her up along with all parental rights that I had. My life and my daughter's life was shattered because all her mother cared about was the money. It happens, I know other black men that have gone through a similar type situation. Unfortunately you don't get to hear from us, because it is considered to be "weak" when a man cries out. We are there. I'm not a tired black man - just disappointed! quote: Originally posted by Rowe: quote: Originally posted by HonestBrother:
Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...
Well, Brother Honestbrother, I don't want to play this blame game with you all night, because ultimately, that's what this video seeks to do: Put the blame for why Black relationships are not working all on Black women, but, I am a woman, and every woman that I've known who has ever made a complaint about her relationship had legitimate reasons to complain, very good reasons. Never was she crying just be crying about nothing. In fact, most Black women would love to be in a relationship where they would not have a lot of nonsense to deal with.
Brother I am sorry that you have to endure such a pain. I can not lie and say I understand what you are going through, but I have empathy for you. I know there are many "good" black men in America and as Honest Brotha says we merely have no voice. I view many black women as the "New Millenium Woman". These type of women expect the man to be the traditional man and they themselves be the 21st century woman. They want to run the household and have a submissive man as long as he is paying bills and giving them money. I apologize if I offend any woman/man with this view. I too myself almost turned to the Caucasian woman. I worked hard for everything that I have and I only met black women who can never be satisfied. As far as the skit, I view the skit as real life and I too am tired of the "black woman" defining what a "real man" is...maybe some black women need to define what a "real woman" is and we can begin to move on from that point.
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Khalliqa
A1 · 7,901 Forum Posts
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April 24, 2006 at 1:35 PM
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quote: Originally posted by calvin:
Brother I am sorry that you have to endure such a pain. I can not lie and say I understand what you are going through, but I have empathy for you.
I know there are many "good" black men in America and as Honest Brotha says we merely have no voice. I view many black women as the "New Millenium Woman". These type of women expect the man to be the traditional man and they themselves be the 21st century woman. They want to run the household and have a submissive man as long as he is paying bills and giving them money.
I apologize if I offend any woman/man with this view. I too myself almost turned to the Caucasian woman. I worked hard for everything that I have and I only met black women who can never be satisfied.
As far as the skit, I view the skit as real life and I too am tired of the "black woman" defining what a "real man" is...maybe some black women need to define what a "real woman" is and we can begin to move on from that point.
Greetings Calvin....
It would be nice if you could introduce yourself at the New Members section of the board.....
It is located at the bottom page of this site....
Am I right in hearing that you are bitter towards Black Women?
Am I right in perceiving you to have reluctantly turn towards white women?
Thanks....
Peace,
Virtue
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Wise Mother
D5 · 1 Forum Post
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April 24, 2006 at 1:50 PM
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The real truth......
Any man who disrepects any woman regardless of color is wrong. Let me break it down. To bring a purple woman to his ex-wife's house to pick up their child and then to find it necessary to have a PDA (public display of affection) in her driveway has disrespected her. I give a hoot that he did what he was supposed to do by providing for the woman he chose to marry and to provide for the child he fathered..... that is only right. However, his high horse died when he tried to flip the script and she was ignorant to let it happen. If he displayed that kind of disrespect during the marriage he should have expected to fight every night. Lucky for him he did not meet MOTHER!
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EbonyRose
A1 · 17,636 Forum Posts
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April 24, 2006 at 1:51 PM
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quote: Originally posted by calvin:
...maybe some black women need to define what a "real woman" is and we can begin to move on from that point.
I'd kinda like to hear the answer to that myself!  Oh! And  to the board, calvin!
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