quote:

Originally posted by rippleyaliens:
but as a nerd, lets do the math.
Blacks make up 15% of americas citizens.
15% hispanic., 15% other, and 55% white..
So with 100 women, we got 15 black 15 hispanic, 15 asian/eurpoean,arabian. etc... and 55 white..

now out of 15 black women, in the 21-31 bracket, how many 1. Got jobs, 2, no kids, 3, a education.
even 30% is 4 women.. now we got 85 other women to look at.. You do the math.. TECHNICALLY..
There are more other women, in the world, that probably have the same attitudes, But since it is a different lifestyle, it is different.
...
All these rap stars with the negative attitude toward black women,, now how in the world do they come up with those things.. Are they all just making it up, or is there a pattern there..
To my black woimen,, out there..
IF you cant run with the big dogs,
either stay on the porch, or figure out what you are doing wrong.. But dont blame us men, for trying to be HAPPY.. We are already free, now happiness is what we want.

quote:

Originally posted by rippleyaliens:
I read over alot of the pages. And i noticed a definite trend.
With reguards to the movie/ skit. Whether he showed up with a white woman or not, that isnt the point. The woman stayed in the car anyway. Disrespect the sister in what way???

Myself as a black man, i have to deal with this everyother weekend. When i pick up my children. Who am i, i am just a simple man, a Network Engineer by trade, making over 80k. BUT my ex wife, with her friends, just seem like the movie to a tee. She put me through garbage, for of all things, a Guy, who claimed he was in a Tactical unit for the Sherifs of our town. (Any service members know that line).. So she disrupted our family, for what, to get her but beat on, cussed out, he has her dancing at a strip joint to pay the bills. My kids suffer. etc........

Fast forward, myself, i am A TIRED BLACK MAN, who went the interracial route. I hear the thunder everytime i pick up my kids. At first i would respect my EX wife, but still, Drama. So i would purposely bring my NON-Black girlfriend to the house to pick up my kids..

MY answer is simple.. Every black man wants it,
CANT I BE HAPPY TOO????? *

Now when a good answer is presented to me by a black woman, on why i cant be happy, why i should not choose happiness, versus drama filled.. I will change my mind, until then, i just dont see it happening.. Generations of anger, GREED, competitiveness , Scheeming. ON both sides of the sexes.. But too many innocents get caught in the middle. Happiness is what we want, and if it is on the white side, then that must be right.....

quote:

Going back to the topic, I don't remember if anyone thought that the female ex's girlfriends were fueling the fire between the exes, just building up drama. I wouldn't be surprised if they (secretly) want their girlfriend to be just as lonely as they were.

quote:

Originally posted by Moni'sLuv:
So, I scrolled back to check out the comments and I can not believe half the crap I've read in here. So I felt obligated to post the comment that I sent with regard to this clip on the website the movie is located it went as follows:

The clip is COMPLETELY unbalanced. First of all, the man in the clip is African. That is usually that LAST brotha to date a white woman. Why dont you all highlight the "dying African American male", because this is what it is usually about. Not some hard working black man taking care of business. You usually hear songs by black women about them. I think I know why you all did that. Also, the idea that one would even produce such a film. You all would die for these women. Never for your own. Why don't you all check out mulatto.org, then you can find out what the product of your interracial relationships stand for. I even read an article about a black man who now lived in Russia who moved there with his white wife (like a black man would make that move for a sista, to Russia, correct if I'm wrong), who would actually go out seperately from her because people in Russia did not accept him with a white woman. They would also go to grocery stores and the like and pretend they didn't know each other because of it. What kind of life is that? He was also quoted saying that "when he went out in public, he never had problems because he knew how to act." What the h#ll is that supposed to mean? This man was later murdered. THIS IS WORTH IT?

I am a 27 yr. old Belizean American black woman, Ive been told that I am quite attractive. I have no children and No, I haven't had any vacumed out of me either. I am what most consider successful, I make a decent salary, more than the average person my age, and I am in the works of purchasing my own home. I can honestly tell you that my whole life a I have been treated like sh#$ by every black man I ever let in my life. I only had the strength to not allow them to destroy my life and still only made out by 80%. I can not tell you how many black women I know, that are just like me, and get the same treatment. It is these SAME MEN that go over and get white women and put them on the pedastel. Not to just be frank, but I've seen black men fall out all over dirty white women who have little to no respect for themselves. My own mother who is married and come from a different generation sees this and is flabbergasted by it. Shes never seen so many proud "black daddys" in her life, and YES, my mother had BOTH of her parents growing up in the home and my grandparents are still married 51 years strong. I have always been a supportive woman, I have always been there, I bend, I break My rules, and STILL, the same treatment. This claim that black women are just whining about nothing is the biggest load of "crock" I have ever seen or heard in my life! The only thing accurate about this movie is the title "Tired black man", when I first saw it, I thought the word "tired" was in meaning for "TY-YAD." Not trying to be funny either. I know plenty of black men who do not understand why so many of you all "trickle over to the other side." So I know this is not some black women have a white-woman-ophobia thing. In truth, I have seen black men shed more blood on each other than any other on this planet at this time. So when the young lady stated she had a white boyfriend, the come back from the other sister should have been "because half of you are dead and in the grave, in jail, or on the D.L." the last reason being the main reason why so many black women have contracted HIV as of late. Don't argue with me on that last one. That is a factual statistic. As a black woman, we have plenty to be annoyed about. I simply have given up on black men. I prefer to not date men outside of my race out of respect for our ancestors and their struggle. I am sure that the present situation today of Black America is not what the Great Harriet Tubman had in mind. As far as other black women dating white men, some see it as no other alternative. I have a very good friend, young, beautiful talented sister who is a writer who grew up around predominantly white people and would be considered by most the "ideal" black women. In moving to California, since this is one of the places interracial dating is common the most, in her experience to find a "brotha" she has had little to no success. She is a very nice girl, and would prefer to have a black man, but she told me that the prospects seem virtually non-existant, she can't find a black man anywhere. So, she met a white guy who had interest in her and they are together now. Speaking of white men, and whilst we are on the subject of griping, ask these white men who are with black women how they feel about them. These sisters have the "same attitude" as any other sister, and since we are grouped as a whole, how come they don't seem to complain (yet I see so many white woman on Maury complaining about the same things). White men who date black women, as a majority treat you very different from a black man. All that most black women want from a black man is RESPECT. Something being called a b!tch and a wh@re in almost every rap song out today is NOT a reflection of. How are black women supposed to feel? One must admit, black women by far out number black men in corporate America and education. So when a black man says that he can not find a black woman that is on his "level", I find it extremely hard to believe. It sounds more like a cop-out to me than a solution. Black women have tried, but black men seem to making it more and more clear, they do not want us. Flicks like these simply "ECHO" that noise. There is NO WAY this movie can be compared to "Waiting to Exhale", as you dont see many black women with supportive husbands, i.e, Senator Obama's wife leaving their husbands after they've found success for a white man.



After so many phoney claims of rape, and getting lynched you would think that black men would have learned by now. You all need to recognize just who the b!tch and wh@re really is.



Signed,



- a completely disgusted and throughrougly dissappointed young black sister

PS. If any of you think that going over to another race is the solution to this problem, then we know there is something seriuosly wrong and a motivation for self-hatred is a factor.

quote:

Originally posted by Moni'sLuv:
Well, I am simply tired of hearing this bullsh!t . I am tired of hearing about the poor endangered black man. I am tired of hearing about the "baby momma drama." If those complaining about baby mommas had kept their johnson strapped they wouldnt be in that mess. They had no problem with being permiscuous at the time. Don't cry now. I am sick of the blame being on black women. WHY and WHEN are these types of black men going to take responsibilities for their actions??? We focus entirely on the "poor underprivaledged black man", yet WE are the cause of their problems? I dont see any body jumping up to help the poor underminded, disrescpected black woman. We have never dealt with any less problems than a black man. Still. We manage to get by. We manage to raise children, most of us, alone. I dont have any children, and I am simply not sure I want one in this world, I can not bare the thought of my daughter at a young age turning on the radio and hearing she is only good enough to be some black mans trollop. I have yet to hear a legitimate gripe about black women from black men. Its one thing if your relationship didnt work out, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE? WHY IS IT BECAUSE SHES A BLACK WOMAN? MORE First it was the white mans fault some couldnt make it, now its the black womans fault some cant be happy? and thats aexcuse. If thats what you all want. They can have you. I am done. D. O. N. E. DONE, finished, cuput.

quote:

Originally posted by Moni'sLuv:
Well, I am simply tired of hearing this bullsh!t . I am tired of hearing about the poor endangered black man. I am tired of hearing about the "baby momma drama." If those complaining about baby mommas had kept their johnson strapped they wouldnt be in that mess. They had no problem with being permiscuous at the time. Don't cry now. I am sick of the blame being on black women. WHY and WHEN are these types of black men going to take responsibilities for their actions??? We focus entirely on the "poor underprivaledged black man", yet WE are the cause of their problems? I dont see any body jumping up to help the poor underminded, disrescpected black woman. We have never dealt with any less problems than a black man. Still. We manage to get by. We manage to raise children, most of us, alone. I dont have any children, and I am simply not sure I want one in this world, I can not bare the thought of my daughter at a young age turning on the radio and hearing she is only good enough to be some black mans trollop. I have yet to hear a legitimate gripe about black women from black men. Its one thing if your relationship didnt work out, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE? WHY IS IT BECAUSE SHES A BLACK WOMAN? MORE First it was the white mans fault some couldnt make it, now its the black womans fault some cant be happy? and thats aexcuse. If thats what you all want. They can have you. I am done. D. O. N. E. DONE, finished, cuput.

quote:

I'm not giving up on my man. Because no man that I have ever dealt with can come close to what he has done for me and give me the type of love that he gives to me everyday.
What I have to say is that no one person can give you balance but yourself...

quote:

Originally posted by Moni'sLuv:
Well, I am simply tired of hearing this bullsh!t . I am tired of hearing about the poor endangered black man. I am tired of hearing about the "baby momma drama." If those complaining about baby mommas had kept their johnson strapped they wouldnt be in that mess. They had no problem with being permiscuous at the time. Don't cry now. I am sick of the blame being on black women. WHY and WHEN are these types of black men going to take responsibilities for their actions??? We focus entirely on the "poor underprivaledged black man", yet WE are the cause of their problems? I dont see any body jumping up to help the poor underminded, disrescpected black woman. We have never dealt with any less problems than a black man. Still. We manage to get by. We manage to raise children, most of us, alone. I dont have any children, and I am simply not sure I want one in this world, I can not bare the thought of my daughter at a young age turning on the radio and hearing she is only good enough to be some black mans trollop. I have yet to hear a legitimate gripe about black women from black men. Its one thing if your relationship didnt work out, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE? WHY IS IT BECAUSE SHES A BLACK WOMAN? MORE First it was the white mans fault some couldnt make it, now its the black womans fault some cant be happy? and thats aexcuse. If thats what you all want. They can have you. I am done. D. O. N. E. DONE, finished, cuput.

quote:

Originally posted by Black Viking:

quote:

Originally posted by Moni'sLuv:
Well, I am simply tired of hearing this bullsh!t . I am tired of hearing about the poor endangered black man. I am tired of hearing about the "baby momma drama." If those complaining about baby mommas had kept their johnson strapped they wouldnt be in that mess. They had no problem with being permiscuous at the time. Don't cry now. I am sick of the blame being on black women. WHY and WHEN are these types of black men going to take responsibilities for their actions??? We focus entirely on the "poor underprivaledged black man", yet WE are the cause of their problems? I dont see any body jumping up to help the poor underminded, disrescpected black woman. We have never dealt with any less problems than a black man. Still. We manage to get by. We manage to raise children, most of us, alone. I dont have any children, and I am simply not sure I want one in this world, I can not bare the thought of my daughter at a young age turning on the radio and hearing she is only good enough to be some black mans trollop. I have yet to hear a legitimate gripe about black women from black men. Its one thing if your relationship didnt work out, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE? WHY IS IT BECAUSE SHES A BLACK WOMAN? MORE First it was the white mans fault some couldnt make it, now its the black womans fault some cant be happy? and thats aexcuse. If thats what you all want. They can have you. I am done. D. O. N. E. DONE, finished, cuput.

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

quote:

Originally posted by Rowe:

quote:

Originally posted by art_gurl:
ouch! ouch! ouch!

But just a fairy tale!

heck, no brotha who looks like that [almost-as-handsome-as-Djimon and rich and successful to boot] ever came running into my arms... and if he did I wouldn't let him escape believe me!

AND... let's face it.... NEITHER WOULD SHE! unless he secretly has a huge crack habit or he is really a transexual... So that is the answer... obviously he is lacking a personality and is boring as hell!
sorry sistas but... this comment was too funny
"hell no! he's gonna kiss the bitch in your driveway!"

I don't why these men want so badly to ignore these issues and believe that Black women are simply complaining about nothing. There is no way that a woman who has a man who bought her house, bought her a car, takes good care of their daughter, and looks that damn good is going to be complaining. Get real.

Rowe, you're not a man... You have no idea what we face from women...

quote:

Originally posted by FireFly/art_gurl:
It's interesting that noone has said that the driveway actually belongs to the local council so it really is irrelevant WHO is parked on it... noone has 'ownership' of that space and who can, or can't park there, kiss there, whatever. Get real people.

quote:

Originally posted by FireFly:
So where does everyone meet in the middle, huh?

Black men have issues... black women certainly have issues... we ALL have issues...

What is it gonna take? Endless sniping is getting all of us nowhere.

What does all of this really say?
I think it says that men and women aren't talking to each other very much at all... at least not on a meaningful level.

Some white women and white men also want to do date black men or women without issues because they dig the person.

Dating a person from a different race out of spite or to feel 'fulfilled' is a poor reason. As is anyone dating anyone else for the same reason.

It's interesting that noone has said that the driveway actually belongs to the local council so it really is irrelevant WHO is parked on it... noone has 'ownership' of that space and who can, or can't park there, kiss there, whatever. Get real people.

The conversation on the doorstep is - in my mind - quite representative of that couple's whole relationship... even after the fact... still incommunicado. How many years later?
Isn't THAT really the whole point of the video?
.

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Originally posted by HonestBrother:

quote:

Originally posted by 19hulady13:
That was a good post... and I think our healing starts with us all being real with ourselves FIRST and then each other. As women, we need to let go of a lot of the hurts of the past and check ourselves to see what we've done and what we can do to help the situation. And like you've done, maybe more brothers should really think about why they truly step out~ evaluate whether or not this pressure you speak of comes from a good Black woman or from your own pride. Call me an optimist, but I honestly believe the Black community can again become a force to be reckoned with~ if we start working together and stop allowing the media, statistics, and mainstream America tell us how to feel~ playing us against each other. We can physically be free from slavery, but as long as our minds are enslaved, we'll never be free...

quote:

Originally posted by Amokess:
Greetings all...

"Being here reminds me of my upbringing in Bed-Stuy... wearing my gele and matching lapa, eating rice balls, and fish cooked in african red pepper..."

I wanted to say to you HB that I agree with you whole heartedly. Although I've been verbally abused by my father, molested by an uncle, and a victim in abusive relationships with black men, I do not hate any of you.

Once I realized what my father, and uncle did was not my fault, and stop hating myself I could allow God to heal me. Many black women must learn to forgive those who have heart us, and then forgive ourselves. Then leave that pain behind. It is a process, and it does take years, and for some supernatural intervention. But it is possible.

Although I am sooo far from perfect, and have to catch myself when I feel that old woman coming back I have learned to love my brothers. And when they do mess up as we humans do I take a deep breath, step back, and think to myself "God is merciful to those who show mercy". I talk, not spit venom and say "Baby what you did really hurt me, or when you said that I perceived this, is that what you meant?"

And I've learned that some brothers have to learn that when I want to discuss something its because I need clarification, or direction, not because I want to fight. It's harder for a sister like me who has been freed of the effects of abuse and slave mentality to actually engage a black man without him thinking "She can't be for real, any day that pissed off black sista is gonna come out!"

We are here, and do exist. We are still waiting, working, learning, teaching, cooking and yes cleaning. We are still soft, and still strong. We still entreat...and would rather listen to you speak than hear the noise of the world. I'm a black woman who despite my past has always believed in the positive power of the black man. Thanks to God I have encountered too many examples of the good black man to allow my culture to brainwash me anymore. Speak up black brother...we are listening...

P.S. Forgive me for being poetic, but thats what I am! LOL!

quote:

Originally posted by MBM:
I just heard the brother who wrote and produced this movie on the radio here. Very interesting . . .

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

What did he say?

quote:

Originally posted by MBM:
He seemed like a very thoughtful, well spoken person except that a couple of things came out that were a bit . . . wierd. First that black women are genetically incapable of taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. That they always blame black men for their problems. (I could be slightly misrepresenting this, but I think this is a fair quote.) The other thing that came out was that he's been engaged 6 times.

quote:

Originally posted by MBM:

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

What did he say?

He seemed like a very thoughtful, well spoken person except that a couple of things came out that were a bit . . . wierd. First that black women are genetically incapable of taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. That they always blame black men for their problems. (I could be slightly misrepresenting this, but I think this is a fair quote.) The other thing that came out was that he's been engaged 6 times.

quote:

Originally posted by Rowe:

quote:

Originally posted by EbonyRose:
I got this in an email ... and just thought I'd share!

It's a Google Video ... so I hope the link works!

A Tired Black Man

Interesting skit, but I have question. If the man who plays the "tired Black man" in this skit is doing what he's supposed to do as a responsible father: He bought the house, the car, pays for most of the family's expenses, cares for his daughter, AND he's GORGEOUS, what would his wife, in this scenerio, have to complain about? In my opinion, this skit would be a lot more believable if he couldn't keep a job, hardly ever saw his kids, and relied upon his wife to support him. Then, she can count herself as being one of many tired Black women who has the right to complain.

quote:

Originally posted by Rowe:

quote:

Originally posted by EbonyRose:
Okay, so, Rowe ... just out of curiosity ...

Are you saying that a broken Black family is more desireable than happy interracial one? For the daughter, that is.

I mean, in that circumstance, should the parents raise the child in single-parent atmosphere (if they can't find Black mates) rather than the stability of an interracial relationship?

Hyperthethically speaking, of course.

I'm saying, from moving our kids out of public schools to mass migration out of urban communities to boycotting Black-owned businesses, Black people have demonstrated a pattern of community neglect, a tendency to run away from community issues rather than dealing with them head on. Seemingly, our solution to every malady plaguing our communities has been to get the heck of out dodge instead of saying to one another: Let's develop a systematic, workable solution to end these problems in our communities, for good. Dude in the video is punk because rather than dealing with the issues plaguing his marriage, AS EXPECTED, he sought out a fling with a White woman who merely serves as a scapegoat to the problems in his marriage, and that is no way to start a new relationship. I wouldn't want to date any man, Black or White, who is merely dating me because he's on the rebound from his wife. Get your shit together at home first, then maybe we can consider beginning a new relationship. And the White woman riding in his car is a nasty hoar because she sits in the car and sees his wife in broad daylight and sees the man is still married, but foolishly remains in his car anyway while grinning the entire time. But what's so damn funny? The fact that you're coming in between a couple who is clearly in trouble? Or the fact that you're too damn stupid to see the man is using you as a "good time break" from the realities of marriage? Let us know when you figure it out. So both of these individuals have proven to have no integrity.

I'm saying, dude is not making intelligent and wise decisions in terms of how he handles conflict in his marriage, and that's probably why his wife has problems with his ass already. And finally, I'm saying that if more men, if more people in general, would simply take seriously the complaints that people are making, rather than chalking these complaints up as "generalized anger against the Black man," then maybe we can get somewhere.

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:
This skit is not about black women and black men


It is about one black woman and one black man

About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...


And you know what? Some of us men can identify...

quote:

Originally posted by BlackBalletDancer:

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:
This skit is not about black women and black men


It is about one black woman and one black man

About ONE relationship where maybe just maybe the woman was at fault...


And you know what? Some of us men can identify...

I have to tell you, though. The unprovoked anger, rudeness, and just plain orneryness I have experience with Black women in courtship situations has been common. All women reject advances but it seems that Black women take special pleasure in making a man feel small at those times.

quote:

Originally posted by Fabulous:
I'd simply like to make an observation here.

Generally speaking (& in my opinion) Black people are the only race of ppl (that I'm aware of) with no problem HATIN' on each other.

Why 'any' black man would produce a video to publicly disparage black women is beyond me.

Don't we (as a race of ppl) have enough folks WORLDWIDE hatin' on us? On the world stage, blk folk in general are considered inferior & worthless.

Thank you "black man" for adding to this already FULL plate of hate.

{well, those who contribute to the hate anyway}

No other race of men (to my knowledge) will slam their women the way 'some' black men do.

And then to make generalizations about black women, much in the same the white man embraces racial stereotypes--is just plain sick, again, imo.

When you generalize black women as being haters, you include EVERY black female in your family, even your black grandmother (if you have one).

As far as I'm concerned this is just another form of SELF HATE, and I'll have no part of it. If y'all wanna generalize a black woman, put her in a box marked "ALL black women," have at it.

I'm just glad I don't attract black men with that particular mindset. It sucks, it's self defeating, it's unproductive, there's no 'good' to come of it.

So while some of you choose to continue slamming, hating & disparaging black women, I suggest you stand in that LONG ass line over there~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>

and take a number.

quote:

Originally posted by BlackBalletDancer:
.....a larger issue to me is the dynamic between Black women and Black men in a dating situation.....Asking a Black woman out is like trying to peal a cactus leaf bare-handed. Maybe the inside is soft and sweet but the pain of getting to the inside makes you question the cost.