why do they always seem attracted to me? Case in point: I'm at the gym working out. Now I'm not big, buff or anything like that. I'm lean, cut, athletic and healthy but put me beside, let's say ddouble, and well, just give me the details in the morning is all I ask. lol...but back to my story...

I'm on the lat pulldown machine, minding my own business and grinding it out, when this..*ahem* very...uummmm.....well a whhooollllleeee lotta woman sat down on the bench beside me and asked why I was there by myself.
Now I can feel all eyes on me from everybody working out. I was polite and cordial but I let her know I was there to just work out. Now I feel uncomfortable and leave afterwards. But this incident is part of a trend I've noticed for years now....guys like me attract women a little on the big side. Nothing wrong with it, but I would like to know why this is. Just curious.....

quote:

Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Now I feel uncomfortable and leave afterwards. But this incident is part of a trend I've noticed for years now....guys like me attract women a little on the big side. Nothing wrong with it, but I would like to know why this is. Just curious.....

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

In my own experience, among black women the ones who show the strongest interest are larger women and older women.

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

In my own experience, among black women the ones who show the strongest interest are larger women and older women.

Why is that????

I would've thought it was because opposites attract. Im a size 6, so im attracted to men like ddouble or someone much larger than myself. (not saying i wouldnt look at Gambit ).

Gambit..are you not attracted to a thick sista?

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

quote:

Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Now I feel uncomfortable and leave afterwards. But this incident is part of a trend I've noticed for years now....guys like me attract women a little on the big side. Nothing wrong with it, but I would like to know why this is. Just curious.....

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

In my own experience, among black women the ones who show the strongest interest are larger women and older women.

Same here. I find it interesting because of the percieved notions (from music, media and other outlets) we have about women who are considered "it" and those who are "not"..how the "it" are supposed to be confident and aggressive and such...

quote:

Originally posted by qty226:

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

In my own experience, among black women the ones who show the strongest interest are larger women and older women.

Why is that????

I would've thought it was because opposites attract. Im a size 6, so im attracted to men like ddouble or someone much larger than myself. (not saying i wouldnt look at Gambit ).

Gambit..are you not attracted to a thick sista?

I believe the "opposites attract" theory might play a part in it..but it seems to be disproportionate *in my opinion* to the greater whole of viewable society. *shrugging*

I love thick sistas..but thick has different definitons to different people.

quote:

Originally posted by HonestBrother:

quote:

Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
Now I feel uncomfortable and leave afterwards. But this incident is part of a trend I've noticed for years now....guys like me attract women a little on the big side. Nothing wrong with it, but I would like to know why this is. Just curious.....

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

In my own experience, among black women the ones who show the strongest interest are larger women and older women.

i have experienced the same thing older and larger women. I think they understand that they may not be the 'first pick in the draft', yet would like to get into the game.

So we're in agreement that "bigger" women are more aggressive and a reason why. Interesting... so why cant "all" women be like this?

I would love to get some of the ladies take on this and have they noticed this or not as well.

Gambit...

I know several men that complain about aggressive women. They complain that a lot of women dont know when to turn that aggression off, and it becomes a control issue.

Also i think there are other ways, to let a man know that im interested. I'll smile, etc....and if he doesnt get the clue, then ohhh well.

quote:

Originally posted by qty226:
Gambit...

I know several men that complain about aggressive women. They complain that a lot of women dont know when to turn that aggression off, and it becomes a control issue.

Also i think there are other ways, to let a man know that im interested. I'll smile, etc....and if he doesnt get the clue, then ohhh well.

So non aggressivness is/can be used as a sorta preventative/protective measure? I can see and understand that.....

Kinda backs up RadioRaheems theory a little bit when I think about it....

lol, I couldnt help but laugh at this topic, !!

Big women like smaller men cause the sex is easier, two fat people trying to make love, oooh wee, lol, but it does seem big women come on strong, the little women think they are too cute and prissy ,the big blocks dont mind getting down and dirty. I got a friend all he looks for is a big woman, he says he knows he gonna eat good lol

quote:

guys like me attract women a little on the big side. Nothing wrong with it, but I would like to know why this is.

Believe me... it aint the small guys. Big sista radar includes large frame brothers as well.

And they are sooooo very aggressive with the come on, it can be scary.

quote:

Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
I'm at the gym working out. I'm lean, cut, athletic and healthy...

It could be because you're just so damned sexxxy, 2XGam, with yo' fly azz.

quote:

Originally posted by ZAKAR:
lol, I couldnt help but laugh at this topic, !!

Big women like smaller men cause the sex is easier, two fat people trying to make love, oooh wee, lol, but it does seem big women come on strong, the little women think they are too cute and prissy ,the big blocks dont mind getting down and dirty. I got a friend all he looks for is a big woman, he says he knows he gonna eat good lol

I AM NOT A SIZE 6, BUT I CAN SAY THIS ZAKAR, I WAS A LITTLE OFFENDED BY YOUR TWO BIG PEOPLE TRYING TO HAVE SEX TOGETHER JOKE. MY HUSBAND IS A TALL, AND BUILT MAN, AND I AM LET'S JUST SAY A VERY PLEASINGLY PLUMP WOMAN-----AND OUR SEX IS OFF THE CHARTS BABY!!!!!! WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS AND WHEN I SAY ALWAYS, I MEAN HE ALWAYS KEEP ME SATISFIED! IT'S EVIDENT YOU HAVEN'T HAD A "PLEASINGLY PLUMP" WOMAN PUT IT ON YA YET! IN MY OPINION, I NEVER HAD A SMALL MAN, BECAUSE I NOTICED THIS ONE THING BIGGER MEN HAVE BIGGER HANDS, AND THEY CAN GRAB MORE WITH THEM!

NO LOVE LOSS PEACE

quote:

Originally posted by donna12:

quote:

Originally posted by ZAKAR:
lol, I couldnt help but laugh at this topic, !!

Big women like smaller men cause the sex is easier, two fat people trying to make love, oooh wee, lol, but it does seem big women come on strong, the little women think they are too cute and prissy ,the big blocks dont mind getting down and dirty. I got a friend all he looks for is a big woman, he says he knows he gonna eat good lol

I AM NOT A SIZE 6, BUT I CAN SAY THIS ZAKAR, I WAS A LITTLE OFFENDED BY YOUR TWO BIG PEOPLE TRYING TO HAVE SEX TOGETHER JOKE. MY HUSBAND IS A TALL, AND BUILT MAN, AND I AM LET'S JUST SAY A VERY PLEASINGLY PLUMP WOMAN-----AND OUR SEX IS OFF THE CHARTS BABY!!!!!! WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS AND WHEN I SAY ALWAYS, I MEAN HE ALWAYS KEEP ME SATISFIED! IT'S EVIDENT YOU HAVEN'T HAD A "PLEASINGLY PLUMP" WOMAN PUT IT ON YA YET! IN MY OPINION, I NEVER HAD A SMALL MAN, BECAUSE I NOTICED THIS ONE THING BIGGER MEN HAVE BIGGER HANDS, AND THEY CAN GRAB MORE WITH THEM!

NO LOVE LOSS PEACE

She told you ...

I didnt mean to offend anyone sweetheart, im sorry if you took it that way, it was kind of a joke. But anyway, ive had a few, lets say volumptuous women in my life, and they sex was pretty good. Me im only 5'10 210 im muscular but i feel what you saying i think the big men fit good with volumtuous women, im no hater. You have to bring your lunch box for the BBW's and if your back isnt strong she may break you, lol,.Just like in boxing , you have to stay in your weight class.

quote:

Originally posted by xxGAMBITxx:
So we're in agreement that "bigger" women are more aggressive and a reason why. Interesting... so why cant "all" women be like this?

I would love to get some of the ladies take on this and have they noticed this or not as well.

It may be beacuse we always have to "defend" ourselves for just being the voluptous women we are. We have to defend why we are big, deal with the stares, and labels, the put downs from family, and classmates, and abuse from other women and men. So like the movie "Phat Girlz" you develop a thick skin and a fiesty attitude.

Now I'm not gonna knock you out like "Mo'Nique" did but if you say something stupid about big women in my presence I will step to you intelligently but assertively.

Regarding men, I've learned to be chased, not the one chasing. Men still like to feel like they are in control, so they want to come after you. Many big girls feel like if they don't go after the guy they won't get one. And that is an self esteem issue. But it really does work when you let yourself shine, and are in the right place. In the regular club scene dudes are not "looking" for a big girl, so you will be sooo bored. But go to a BBW event it is a totally different story. So you have to be active and involve yourself in stuff. I do know what its like to feel like you are invisible. But since I moved its like a whole new world.

quote:

DONNA: IN MY OPINION, I NEVER HAD A SMALL MAN, BECAUSE I NOTICED THIS ONE THING BIGGER MEN HAVE BIGGER HANDS, AND THEY CAN GRAB MORE WITH THEM!

quote:

ZAKAR: Just like in boxing , you have to stay in your weight class.

quote:

I know several men that complain about aggressive women.

quote:

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

I'm glad to see Amokess use the word assertive, as I'd like the menfolk to define what they mean by agressive?

In my mind, being upfront (but friendly) in manner about approaching someone is assertive. Being dominating and controlling is being agressive and implies a negative meaning.

I'm not nitpicking, just curious about the men's use of the term.

quote:

Originally posted by FireFly:

quote:

I know several men that complain about aggressive women.

quote:

I think the big girls ... excuse me ... women ... are just more aggressive.

I'm glad to see Amokess use the word assertive, as I'd like the menfolk to define what they mean by agressive?

In my mind, being upfront (but friendly) in manner about approaching someone is assertive. Being dominating and controlling is being agressive and implies a negative meaning.

I'm not nitpicking, just curious about the men's use of the term.

I was using "agressive" in your sense of the word "assertive" ... speaking for myself, I meant nothing negative by the term ...

just curious how easily those two words seem to be transposed, when they have quite different meanings. And usually by men, which makes me wonder if men see assertiveness and agression in women as the same thing. And if so, do they morph (in men's minds) into meaning upfront or confrontational? Postive or negative or... you haven't really ever thought about it? Maybe the difference between those two words are more important to women? Maybe not? All input is welcome.