Gentlemen:

If you had the opportunity once a day to express an idea, a feeling, or explanation to women WITHOUT interruption or questioning from them, what would you say?

quote:

Originally posted by ddouble:
Gentlemen:

If you had the opportunity once a day to express an idea, a feeling, or explanation to women WITHOUT interruption or questioning from them, what would you say?

I know I will get railroaded for this, but I would advise women on the games that they play. Women need to understand that their dating game/ 'playa playa' career is very short lived...and usually end in their early thirties. In fact, at around that some time, the game actually flip flops to the favor of men. The same women with the mindset of 'he's not on my level' or 'he's not good enough for me' or 'he's gotta be a baller!!'...while handing out fake phone numbers in their early to mid 20's, will be the same women running to singles conferences at the church and every nightclub, every night collecting phone numbers from guys...often getting fake phone numbers .
Real Talk: what you reap, you shall sow!


Women need to learn how to better deal with accepting rejection from men, esp. when they are in their 30's and 40's. Men pursue women they want, based off of what they want. If you ain't got it, then you ain't got it!! Not all guys that reject you are gay/bi or whatever new fruity flavor that is out there


For a first date, have him take you to a restaurant. For the second date or third or fourth [depends on the speed], if you are worth a second look, she should cook for him. A home cook meal shows him that you are giving person and not all about having him spend money on you. Even if he offers a second eatry, change it to a cooked meal. This is a good quality, shows appreciation, which will score very high points in his view of you. Remember, you could be dating your husband

i'm sure i'll have some more later

This message has been edited. Last edited by: RadioRaheem,

http://www.colorofchange.org/jena6/

IT'S NOT THE GAME VS. YOU

The game is an opportunity to escape from life's stresses for a few hours. If you really want to spend gametime with us, learn the game (not right there on the spot while we're watching) and keep the non-sports related chatter to a minimum. Know that we will yell at the TV (Yes, they CAN hear us!) and please don't change the channel (EVEN if it's on commercial)!

I'M NOT A MEMBER OF THE PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK

Please, just be direct and tell me whatever it is. Doesn't matter what it is. Don't assume I should know because we've known each other for x amount of time. Don't treat it like some relationship pop quiz. Make it plain.

Please.

quote:

Originally posted by ddouble:
I'M NOT A MEMBER OF THE PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK

Please, just be direct and tell me whatever it is. Doesn't matter what it is. Don't assume I should know because we've known each other for x amount of time. Don't treat it like some relationship pop quiz. Make it plain.

Please.

Amen! I hate the whole pop quiz thing. None of this, "well you should know when I say, act, do x I really mean y." No, No, No! If you want x, then say you want x.

Also, drop the Jedi mind trick crap. Again, be direct and straight forward with me, and I will be direct and straigh forward with you.

I would just like to add to the sistas.Please understand , most brothers are trying really hard out here to better themselves and if they are not where you think they should be by the age of 25 or 30 , dont automatically reject him. Because in his mid thirties you will begin to see the fruits of his labor. At this time he will remember how so many sistas put him down or didnt give him the time of the day. Add to this like the brother said, the fact that in the mid 30's women stock has peaked.At the same time the man is actually reaching real maturity and coming into his own. Often this attracts younger women. All I say to the sistas, is have compassion for your brothers understand that black men are treated differently in this society than sista. And please dont make everything a competition with your man. You dont have to show him how strong you are all the time, sometimes he wants you to show your vulnerabilities and visa versa. What man wants competition in the streets and at home? none

quote:

Originally posted by ddouble:
Gentlemen:

If you had the opportunity once a day to express an idea, a feeling, or explanation to women WITHOUT interruption or questioning from them, what would you say?

Nothing... nothing at all.

Because in the highly unlikely even that she actually understands what I've just explained to her... that would eliminate some of the mystery of the relationship. She doesn't want to understand me... she wants to spend the rest of her life trying to figure me out.

theres nothing wrong with silence

You don't have to bring up useless chatter while we're in the car... just ride.

You don't have to tell me about your friends while we're at dinner... just eat.

You don't have to put me in each and every "hypothetical" situation while we're watching television, i.e, 'would you say or do that?'... just watch.

In other words, shut-up sometimes.

quote:

Originally posted by Black Viking:

quote:

Originally posted by ddouble:
Gentlemen:

If you had the opportunity once a day to express an idea, a feeling, or explanation to women WITHOUT interruption or questioning from them, what would you say?

Nothing... nothing at all.

Because in the highly unlikely even that she actually understands what I've just explained to her... that would eliminate some of the mystery of the relationship. She doesn't want to understand me... she wants to spend the rest of her life trying to figure me out.

sad but true

I AM NOT THAT GUY ...

I am me, remember? ... I'm the one that you chose to be with. The one that you believed to be honest, trustworthy and honorable.

I am not that guy that you dumped for hitting you/ cheating on you/lying to you/forgetting your birthday or any of the other things that you could no longer tolerate. So stop treating me like I am or going to be that guy.

quote:

Originally posted by Kweli4Real:
I AM NOT THAT GUY ...

I am me, remember? ... I'm the one that you chose to be with. The one that you believed to be honest, trustworthy and honorable.

I am not that guy that you dumped for hitting you/ cheating on you/lying to you/forgetting your birthday or any of the other things that you could no longer tolerate. So stop treating me like I am or going to be that guy.

AMEN! TESTIFY!

quote:

Originally posted by ZAKAR:
I would just like to add to the sistas.Please understand , most brothers are trying really hard out here to better themselves and if they are not where you think they should be by the age of 25 or 30 , dont automatically reject him. Because in his mid thirties you will begin to see the fruits of his labor. At this time he will remember how so many sistas put him down or didnt give him the time of the day. Add to this like the brother said, the fact that in the mid 30's women stock has peaked.At the same time the man is actually reaching real maturity and coming into his own. Often this attracts younger women. All I say to the sistas, is have compassion for your brothers understand that black men are treated differently in this society than sista. And please dont make everything a competition with your man. You dont have to show him how strong you are all the time, sometimes he wants you to show your vulnerabilities and visa versa. What man wants competition in the streets and at home? none

Oprah is having a special program today about dateless women past 30 right now.

Only ask me a question when you REALLY WANT my opinion

I'm not always guaranteed to know when you are just looking for a yes or an ego boost. Please keep that in mind before asking my opinion.

Thanks.

I am not one to "woman bash" but...

If you are afraid of the answer, don't ask the question...

quote:

Originally posted by Huey:

quote:

Originally posted by ZAKAR:
I would just like to add to the sistas.Please understand , most brothers are trying really hard out here to better themselves and if they are not where you think they should be by the age of 25 or 30 , dont automatically reject him. Because in his mid thirties you will begin to see the fruits of his labor. At this time he will remember how so many sistas put him down or didnt give him the time of the day. Add to this like the brother said, the fact that in the mid 30's women stock has peaked.At the same time the man is actually reaching real maturity and coming into his own. Often this attracts younger women. All I say to the sistas, is have compassion for your brothers understand that black men are treated differently in this society than sista. And please dont make everything a competition with your man. You dont have to show him how strong you are all the time, sometimes he wants you to show your vulnerabilities and visa versa. What man wants competition in the streets and at home? none

Oprah is having a special program today about dateless women past 30 right now.

web link to show summary
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200701/20070125/slide_20070125_284_101.jhtml

I'm not that Romantic guy portrayed in the media...

and probably never will be. Don't get me wrong - I love showing you how much I care for you & appreciate you, but I probably won't ever do it the way:

The singer describes it.

The actor on the screen does it.

The character in the novel handles it.

But I will do it my way.

Hopefully, that will mean more to you than than me following the "script" on romance.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ddouble,

------------------------------
R.I.F. (Reading IS Fundamental)...



"There are five dangerous faults which may affect a general:
(1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction;
(2) cowardice, which leads to capture;
(3) a hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults;
(4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame;
(5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble."
-Sun Tzu

I'm a DOER

If you have a problem, I'm trying to find a way to fix it for you. It's tough to accept that you may just want to vent or have someone empathize and not try to resolve the issue.

quote:

Originally posted by ddouble:
I'm a DOER

If you have a problem, I'm trying to find a way to fix it for you. It's tough to accept that you may just want to vent or have someone empathize and not try to resolve the issue.

This gets me into trouble ALL the time. And if you act to resolve it, or give suggestions on how it might be resolved, you are apt to be accused of not understanding or trying to control, change, manipulate, or fix me. Yet, you would be unwise to ignore them or feign deafness or indifference, because you are then mean, cruel, don't care about them, and not compassionate.

Disagreement with you does not equal Disrespect of you...

If you wish to have a "strong, secure" man who can express his opinion, don't take every disagreement as his attempt to marginalize you. We enjoy healthy debate occasionally, but every difference of opinion does not mean we do not respect you.

If you think I screwed up ... Tell me so!

Your walking around angry about some mystery event and think that is communicating to me anything other than you are angry about something, you are mistaken. Is that your point? That you are angry? Okay, point made. If you want me to care what it is that you are angry about, then tell me what it is that you are angry about.

And Oh yeah, if I had nothing to do with what you are angry about, tell me that up front and forget that I said the other stuff.