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Phoenix Rising |
Many of you here are married.... some are not... May I ask of the brothers here.... If you are married... what was it in your wife that moved you to want to spend the rest of your life with her? What were the qualities about this woman? If you are not..... What is it that you are looking for? I apologize if this has been asked before.... But I often feel like men and women (particularly in the Black Community) talk "at" each other "through" our pain and misconceptions..... Will you answer please? Thank you... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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A1 |
What I want or am looking for ? .... To be understood. To be appreciated. To be accepted.
That probably sounds very one sided (and maybe even a little self-indulgent). Of course, I think understanding, appreciation, and acceptance should be things I'm also able to give to "the one". But I put it like that because I really don't feel I've ever had that from a sista. Please no one get upset. That's not a general statement about all black women. It's just my experience which I hope will change one day. I've always been a bit of a trend setter. Very individual. Set on following my own path. Career-wise. In religion. In most things. So I don't fit into any easy stereotype or idea of what a black man should be or strive for. I've always felt judged by black women. Not enough of this or that. Not tall enough. Not Christian enough. Not rich enough or striving enough for wealth. Not street enough. Not Black enough. Etc. For example, a lot of sistas tell me that I remind them of a preacher. I guess because I'm serious, clean cut, articulate, etc. I fit into that cultural image BUT I'm not a "believer". I've even been on dates with women who thought that I had a "calling" to preach. It never seemed to help to tell them I didn't have the desire to preach. LOL But anyway, I tried to answer your question. To be accepted for all that I am and to be able to do the same for my partner. To be able to treasure and share one another's essence. Aside from the spark of physical attraction, that's what I'm seeking in a mate. PS: In the months immediately after I finished my Ph.D., it REALLY ticked me off that the number one song in the country was the one by Destiny's Child - that song "Soldier". Here I was. This young black Ph.D. with a great job, being bombarded with the message that there were no marriageable black men who wanted black women AND AT THE SAME TIME being told by the most desired black women in the country that I wasn't street enough. I nearly popped a blood vessel EVERY time I heard that song.... PSS: So if you ever wondered if there were any brothas NOT into Beyonce, here's one of them - I'm on a Beyonce boycott  Just an afterthought.
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C2 |
Peace.....
Sister, the answer to this question requires more space than this medium can provide. I have been blessed to find love, true love....The kind of love which stirs a soul relentlessly, never allowing a moments rest. The quality of love which threatens to burst my heart when I reflect upon the object of my affection. Upon finding her, there was no choice as to where the rest of my life would be spent...We are together, because we were made for one another..We were simply waiting to find each other.
I agree...Before we can marry one another in truth, we must learn one another..we must also learn ourselves...A work in progress...Indeed.. Considered Well... Kai |
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Vanguard |
In no particular order... 1. Integrity 2. Loyalty 3. Flexability 4. A Giving Nature Thank you for asking virtue...  Ubuntu - I am what I am, because of who we all are. "Peace is not merely the absence of tension, it is the presence of justice." - MLK www.PersonalSafetyInstitute.org |
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Phoenix Rising |
It's hard for me to believe that a brother with such great credentials is not snapped up already..... But may I add, hmmmm... not on the Beyonce bandwagon? I'm a lover of the intelligence of the human mind.... which the sister does not strike me as having in any significant quantity..... however I understand her allure....and it's not just her physical attributes.... it's her acceptance of her feminine attributes and the power and acceptance of those qualities that generate the magnetic attraction from men.... Her "physical assets" are a lure... yes... but it is the way she "is".... the way she "exists".... with her beauty that sets her apart..... she "uses" her power well.... whether sisters like it or not.... I and others I know do not choose this route.... because there are even greater, yet subtler ways to allow one's feminine beauty to shine.... Honest Brother, lately I have been privy to several conversations regarding Coretta Scott King.... How she was not married to the "man" but to the "Man's Mission".... You state that you are not leaning towards being a "Preacher"... yet you, I'm assuming from your statements, tend to display the qualities of a preacher..... This must mean you are a man who reflects often and is aware.... you must be well studied and able to communicate in a way that touches the heart of others.... you make a way for people to "see".... one may not call that a "Preacher" or "Mininster".... what would you call it? And what is your Mission? And what part does a woman play along your path? Excuse me... I had a full day.... and lots on my mind.... and so I'm stretching my curiosity a bit.... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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Phoenix Rising |
Nice to see you..... You're married? Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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C2 |
Peace....
It's nice to see you as well. No...I am not married. Not yet...All things in good time. You Know?? Kai |
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Phoenix Rising |
Please... I don't mean to pry... but... May I ask about whom were you speaking? It sounds like you're married.... or at least engaged... If so, I'm happy for you.... It sounds like you are truly happy.... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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C2 |
Peace....
She is someone in my life that I am exploring. I stated in my previous post that Marraige is true once the participants have learned one another. We are courting... And I must admit..This is a wonderful trial.
Indeed beloved....Indeed. Kai |
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Phoenix Rising |
You are courting? That's wonderful! May you find what brings you peace... I wish you and her the best... I really do... It was nice seeing you again.... Make sure I get an invite to the wedding.... I'd love to meet her..... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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C2 |
Peace....
Thank You....
Always....You can never tire of star light...
Are you willing to travel to New Jersey? If so..I'll make sure you receive an invitation...
Ah well..unfortunately she is not a big fan of the internet...I guess it is the one place where our minds do not meet. So a meeting seems unlikely, But thanks for the encouraging words... Peace.. P.S. I am Happy Virtue...But..I must be honest, and say that I am sure that from time to time, my mind will return to what could have been...Such looming questions can make the soul uneasy...However, I am happy... Peace, and blessings Kai |
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A1 |
I'd say that does make you unique.  '...all of us who care about the truth must assist you in finding the resources to tell it.' Ken Burns, Documentary Filmmaker. |
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Phoenix Rising |
May I return this thread to the original question? What is it that makes her the one? If you're married-- What are the qualities that let you know your wife wasthe one? If you're not married--What qualities are you looking for in a woman that would allow you to seriously consider her as the one? Again, I am sincere in my questioning.... I'd really like to know what is on brothers' minds..... Sometimes it's good to just listen.... And what I'm hearing so far is down to earth sincerity from decent men..... I'm listening...... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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A1 |
Preacher? Minister? These words have very specific meanings ...But then again aren't we all called to 'ministry'? And to preach through every day acts of 'prophecy'? At the risk of seeming self-important, I've always been drawn to the pursuit of Truth. More generally, to the classical vision of the Good Life - the pursuit of Truth, Beauty, and Justice. The love of Truth led me to the life of a scholar. But with maturity has also come a sense of responsibility to the social world and a devotion to the pursuit of Justice. Beauty is all in all... So I'm a scholar, artist, and activist. I'll plead the 5th on proclaiming a "Mission". Then you'd really think I was full of it  The role of a woman in my life? My other half? She who knows me better than I know myself? Isn't her role clear? I could not live without her.  PS: Please excuse my dreamy ramblings. It's been a long day and I'm tired. Soon to go to bed.
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Phoenix Rising |
What does devotion to the pursuit of Justice look like?
Scholar of? What type of artist? What type of activist?
I don't know what to think, you refuse to share any more..... Peace, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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A1 |
As a scholar, I'm a research mathematician by education and profession. I'm also a student of religion and philosophy. As an artist, see the thread HB's Art Show in the Music-Entertainment-Arts Forum. I also write poetry, fiction, and essays. As an activist, I've advocated for a number of causes in my community. Currently I'm working on a somewhat unusual project. I'm putting together a Black History Month photo exhibit featuring local people - updating and democratizing the imagery of black history so to speak. The exhibit will be in the public library next weekend. I've gone around the city searching for subjects. Young people. College professors. Families. I've called it "The People are Beautiful".
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A1 |
there are no shortcuts to love.
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A1 |
At the risk of sounding grandiose, my "mission" is to contribute towards bringing about a Black cultural renaissance. That's MY thing. Or at least what I'm about can be summarized in those words. It's why I went into education as a profession. Knowledge is indeed power. And it's at the root of a lot of my other endeavors. As a photographer, one thing I'm trying to do is to capture diverse images of African American life. I think it makes a profound difference to the way people see themselves if they actually see themselves. My work in this medium is becoming popular and is showing in local galleries and other venues. Another project in which I'm involved as a photographer is working with a local black talent agency. We're trying to identify talent among people in the community, nurture/groom it, and publicize it. It is my belief that a number of problems in the community (especially among men) stems from frustration at the lack of visibility, nurturance of, and support of unrecognized talent/ability. As I said above, I also write fiction (presently working on a novel), poetry, and essays - mostly on religion, culture, and philolosophy. African American religion/spirituality is an important issue to me. I'm an advocate of cultivating a diversity of healthy black religious expression. Is that sharing enough? |
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Phoenix Rising |
Grandiose?.... Not at all....
May I ask what type of renaissance? ..... Arguably we've had several.... From what are moving from and what are we moving towards?
How do you assess whether the knowledge you disseminate is absorbed properly? How do you assess its qualitative effect?
I thought you were a seer.... you are also a storyteller.... beautiful....
May I ask in what area are you seeking talent?
A writer..... I am writer.... I appreciate the creative mentality that must go into writing and communicating to others a vision.... a world.... you have to be attentive to subtlety and detail.... a fine art for those who master it.....
What do you think about the concept of universal principles....?
I'm honored that you would consider this forum worthy of a glimpse in your world.... Thanks for sharing.... I like to be exposed to the "real" beauty of men.... Black men.... and this usually resides in a place carefully tucked away unless he sees fit to share.... Women rarely ask.... Men rarely show.... I wanted to stop listening to the bickering between us (men and women) and I wanted to see what fondness may lie there.... Is that so bad? Where is the fondness for the Black Woman... Where is the fondness for the Black Man.... Peace, Virtue
Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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A1 |
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