quote:Originally posted by Vox: "Butterflies," the type of intense "shot-out" feelings so strong that you think about the person all the time, and you.
Do adult men experience these feelings? Are we supposed to? Is there something wrong if we don't? Is there something wrong if we do?
i guess that is love, but then again, i'm still in the mindset of women being a dime a dozen. I guess feeling the way you described mean that you may have found 'THE ONE'
But I'm wondering if that is love. Is there anyone here who knows they've been in love, but didn't feel the above described feelings? Is that love or something else? If it's love, is there a such thing as truly being love, but without the above feelings?
Probably, but every feeling we have is neurochemical in nature. But for years, I haven't felt this way, and before I go much further, I should probably make sure what the nature of this lack of feeling is, or if I should even characterize it as a lack.
Women definitely feel this way when they're in love. But I wonder if most men do as well. And if we don't, is it neurochemically natural or is it due to some kind of social type of thing?
Point of clarification: what's your love life been like over this period? Have you been with the same woman? Have you been dating extensively? Have you been involved with the type of women who have traditionally been of high regard to you? Have there been women that you've been very physically attracted to, but not emotionally?
There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Mandela
How to answer this one... I have found that my feelings for women, over most of my life, would get intense when a particular type of woman showed interest in me during a point in my life when I wasn't feeling particularly good about myself. During periods when I felt fine, the intensity was never there. Some of you already know that I basically cured what ailed me 5 years ago. So the feelings about myself have been solid ever since. But I haven't had the stronger feelings for anybody at all, since then. Even for women that I once did have such feelings for.
One of two things is going on: either (A) curing depression created some kind of dampening effect on my romantic emotions; or (B) Curing depression helped foster the healthy kind of confidence that freed me from the need for validation, which in turn resulted in the intensity whenever I got the validation.
Even in earlier years, during the brief periods between the misery, I would get no intensity. Was that normal, or was the intensity normal, is the basic question I've been trying to figure out. Unfortunately, I can never get a straight description from other brothers about what it is they feel when they're "in love." So I don't have a point of reference to compare my feelings with. I don't know whether what I have now is fine, or not. If it's normal, then I can stop thinking there's more out there, and be happy. If it's not, then I can move accordingly.
I've been wondering about this for 5 years. The current relationship is a little over 2 years old. I want some input. For the sake of candidness, guys can private message me if they wish.
