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The Tax Kitten |
Please provide some basic definitions, as I find myself in need of clarification in a few areas. Since reading GBs posts, I have been in a different space and time, and I would love to have some basic understandings so that my edification can increase and perhaps we may begin to eliminate some of the the hair splitting over verbiage used when responding to posts. It seems that even when we attempt to agree, statements are made that appear to be designed to create conflict where I don't see it.
So, if you would be so kind to enlighten a Sister, would you answer the following:
With all due apologies to GB, his post on reparations broke my heart (not intentionally, of course), and I wonder if others of you had been born with his lifestyle, would you choose to love a Sister or would you walk away from our world? Commentary here - Friends are more important to me than lovers, because I lost my faith in the "one man, one woman, one lifetime" type of love a very long time ago. I would like to know that if you - a Brother - saw me - a Sister - in a situation that was appeared dangerous, overwhelming, or potentially serious, would you step up to the plate and help me because I was your Sister, or would you watch my demise with apathy because your have lost your connection with me? I have my moments when my heart and head can't reconcile the things that I read, and I really would appreciate your insight if you care to share it with me. Thanking you in advance for any information. Sisters, please feel free to add your input as well if you so choose. By the title of the post, please do not feel as though I am excluding you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.  |
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Phoenix Rising |
Peace Sandye.....
I know you offered for sisters to share their thoughts.....but I don't want to interfere here... I just wanted to let you know that I think you have a gentle spirit.....I identify with it....  I pray you find what you are looking for.... Peace and Blessings, Virtue Peace, Khalliqa "The Goddess emerges as the evanescence of the inferior dissipates.... " |
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The Tax Kitten |
Just wanted to open the door. Choosing to walk in is always a choice. I appreciate your comments as well as your style.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. |
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C3 |
DAMN!! Let me go see what dude said over in reparations first! Lemme get back to you, Sandye. |
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C3 |
Okay, I'm back. Other than GoodBrotha being trapped in some kind of alternate universe, I don't see what's so heart-breaking about the brother. The important thing is there are more than enough people on this site to school him with intelligence instead of stomping on him like he's some kind of weeble wobble toy.
GoodBrotha will be alright--the important thing is at least he's trying to gain some kind of understanding instead of stomping around and acting all conceited because he has a white girl and a dollar in his pocket.... Aiight, Sandye, I'm going to tell you want you need to know in a minute. *Dipping into think tank mode* Be back in a minute. |
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A1 |
I might be better without a relationship THAT TYPE OF HONESTY IS BELOW MY PAYGRADE. |
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C3 |
What is the difference between an adult male and a true man?
An adult male a homosapien that has a dick and a pair of balls, and may or may not be able to speak in complete sentences, may or may not be educated beyond high school, may or may not be employed but, more often than not, may have one or more baby mamas. A true man isn't defined by how well he fits a stereotypical mold determined by what you look like or seem to be. It's when you're doing things that are blessings to your life and thus the lives of those around you. These aren't outer things, but inner things. It isn't your achievements, your politics, or your clothing that makes you a true man. It's the small things that make your life and everyone else's life around you better. Being a true man is knowing who you are, where you are, and where you're going. It's being walking, talking, positive energy. What do you want in a relationship, and what are you willing to do to get it? I want love, friendship, respect, great love-making, and trust--a soulmate--out of a relationship. I'm willing not to be distracted by women that are not serious about the four things mentioned above. I'm willing to place my vulnerable self into her hands and have her appreciate and respect that true self. What does love mean to you? Love means oneness--tranquility, contentment, ecstacy, and euphoria. Do you love African American women because we are your Sisters and it is the honorable thing to do, or do you love us because we are in your hearts? Both. Could you be my friend, chat on the phone with me, allow me to confide in you and have my back as a friend, or is punani always on the back burner? Punani is never an issue. If we are friends then we are friends and nothing more. Personally, the longer I'm friends with a woman the better the chances are she will remain a friend and nothing more. However, if the intension from the outset is to develop a friendship first before switching gears to a more romantic level then that's a "horse" of another color. If so, if I did not want a physical relationship with you, would you throw the friendship away? It depends on if a woman is friendship material. some women, or people in general, for that matter, don't understand what it is to be a friend. Friendship should be reciprocated not one sided--you're only there for me when it's convenient or beneficial to you, and vis versa. Can I trust you to be a man of integrity, or is being politically correct and socially acceptable more important to your ultimate goals? Integrity is my middle name. Do you think that African American women demand more energy, time, attention, and nurturing than women from other cultures? If so, why? In my personal experience, women are basically the same--some are more giving than others, some take more than others, however, some African American women do have a tendency to be a little more difficult to deal with. I think it may be because some black people have a tendency to not value each other as much as other races of people do, perhaps because of home training, having a makeshift culture with no true connection or easily tracable ancestry back to the motherland. Do you feel that you need a relationship of any kind to "complete" you, or are you whole, sound and capable within yourself? I'm complete right now. |
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B2 |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sandye:
So, if you would be so kind to enlighten a Sister, would you answer the following:
I am more of the latter...the last three years have more than brought that fact home to me.
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A1 |
A man can consider himself true when he reaches the realization that his choices and actions are a reflection of what he thinks and what he thinks has a consequential and direct impact upon himself, his relationships, and his future. A true man is sure of his place in the world and acknowledges how his existence can either be a useful contribution or a useless contribution. In his relationships, a true man will treat others with the same amount of care, sensitivity, and respect that he has for himself. Thus, a man who has great respect for himself will not dishonor the name and existence of others nor would he ever deceive others into having relationships that are strictly convenient and beneficial to him. He is communal, people-centered, and is sensitive to emotional bonds that have been established. In addition, he is concerned about the developmental, social, and spiritual needs of others including the children to whom he has given life. More importantly, a true man appreciates and respects the strength of love, he understands that his life as well as the life of others past are the result of family/ancestral bonds, and therefore he ultimately lives to expand his family and to impart love to others, excluding those times when protecting himself and his family from threat is necessary.
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Bad Mother Fucker |
Quite simply, a man takes responsibility for his actions... One who is not a man consistantly blames others... A partner who is willing to pick up the slack if I falter - just to help out until I am back on track. That's a tough one... The feeling of mutual trust and respect - you know each other's faults/frailties(?), but refuse to exploit them for personal gain... BOTH!! I could be a platonic friend - w/o the "benefits" That would depend on the size of your bootay... Just kidding. I would not throw it away. Integrity over PCness every time. Require? NO. Deserve? YES. I believe in the power of one... in other words, I don't think that you can maintain a relationship if you are not complete as a person(s) before you start the relationship. Death before dishonor... I got your back...
Peace, AudioGuy ************************************************* "I am African, not because I was born in Africa; but because Africa was born in me" -Anonymous "The cost of Liberty is less than the cost of repression." -W.E.B. DuBois, John Brown 1909 "... can you imagine Doobie in yo' funk??!!" -G. Clinton Sense is far from COMMON! ... The tragic irony here is that a lot of African Americans may not fully recognize the implications of this decision for years to come. Stop by any barbershop, barbeque or church basement in Black America and you will hear – with distressing frequency – that old canard that "integration" ruined the Black community. William Jelani Cobb ************************************************* |
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The Tax Kitten |
I truly appreciate the time taken to ponder and respond to my questions. A male perspective is always valuable to me as it provides me with insight that I just don't have as a female. Thank you, my brothers as you are very much a part of my ever learning, ever growing philosophy.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. |
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Bad Mother Fucker |
Good... Now get back in da kitchen and fix my dinner!!  Peace, AudioGuy ************************************************* "I am African, not because I was born in Africa; but because Africa was born in me" -Anonymous "The cost of Liberty is less than the cost of repression." -W.E.B. DuBois, John Brown 1909 "... can you imagine Doobie in yo' funk??!!" -G. Clinton Sense is far from COMMON! ... The tragic irony here is that a lot of African Americans may not fully recognize the implications of this decision for years to come. Stop by any barbershop, barbeque or church basement in Black America and you will hear – with distressing frequency – that old canard that "integration" ruined the Black community. William Jelani Cobb ************************************************* |
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C4 |
Sandye: Love the questions, I am just waiting to read the reponses from the guys, especially Vox.
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B2 |
You are quite welcome, Sandye. By the way, I love that pic of Sade..very yummy! |
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A1 |
The true man takes full ownership in himself and his responsibilities. 2-way love, passion for each other and each other's lives, understanding ('cause I'm not all that ordinary), friendship, and a mutual willingness to work together toward building something and toward solving problems. I would say there's a deep emotional connection, and a desire to help the other person bring out the best in themselves and each other. I believe the strongest love is the love that comes all the way from within, rather than acting out of a sense of "honor," obligation, or responsibility. I am fairly sure that I'm there "in my heart." I hope so. Punany is never on the back burner. It's front and center. Just kidding... but if I'm attracted to you, if I'm being honest, I probably want you regardless of how platonic the state of things is. No. Integrity rules. No. I'm okay alone, but there's no way I feel I'm as well off alone as I would be with the right woman in my life. ____________________________________________________ |
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C4 |
Sandye: I read the gentlemen's responses: thoughtfully worded, insightful, internally consistent and honest. I loved reading them all. I will actually have to rethink my impressions about a few of them.
I have always believed that you can say anything that you want; it is how you say it that dictates the response you receive. Your question beautifully illustrated that point. Your subject matter solicited the id, ego and superego all in one fell swoop. You are quite a wordsmith. I hope more gentlemen respond to your very important and timely inquiry. |
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B2 |
Name a few.....please!?! |
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The Tax Kitten |
Thank you for your kind words, Nikcara. I appreciate your feedback. I agree that the gentlemen put some thought into the answers, and I loved reading the responses as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. |
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