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A1 |
I started thinking a lot about the first question. And the present thread is the result of those thoughts. This post sorta rambles. And not all of it relates directly to msprettygirl's comment. For that I apologize. But I had to get it off of my chest. First ... I have to speak up for my brothas. There are a lot of beautiful brothas in the world. Including my own (real life) brothers. There are a lot of brothas who are capable of doing beautiful things ... and of having a profound love for black women. But, to be completely honest, this world chokes the beauty out of us almost as soon as we're born. And it doesn't reward us for being "good". People might look at my life. And say I've done well for myself. That I've made the "right" choices. That I've been "responsible". That I'm "talented". But the truth is that in order to do what I've done in my life I've had to rebel the whole time. That is, I've lived a life deliberately going contrary to the direction that society (including black society) thought I should go. It might surprise a lot of people but my dominant self-perception is as a rebel. A lot of people out there only claim to be individuals ... to be "rebels" ... but the real measure of a person's individuality is your willingness to be alone. This is how society punishes "individuals" .... with isolation. Real "individuals" don't run around in packs of people who look and think just like they do IMO. My experience is that black men receive very little encouragement for their dreams. That is, unless their dreams line up with what other people think they should be dreaming about. When I was interested in astronomy as a child, other people encouraged me to be a ball player ... since I was "tall for my age". When I decided to be a math major in college, other people thought I should be an engineer. Now that I want to be a photographer, people say "It will be really hard to make a living as a photographer." And goodness knows I've had the wrong religious beliefs forever. I do not go to the right church. For as long as I can remember, I've received precious little encouragement to pursue my vision of myself. Everybody has an idea of what we should be doing ... but what we want to do .. or what we are doing is never good enough ... unless it coincides with what someone else thinks we ought to want to do. I think of my own brother out in California who is a talented artist. And he has not been anywhere near as fortunate as I've been. He hasn't received the breaks that I have and has gotten even less encouragement. He has always been a gentle soul. But this world has made him very cynical and angry. It hurts me to see how he's changed over the years. And I worry about his future. In my own situation, for more than 2 years now, I've lived in a city where I'm told that I'm the first black faculty member (ever) in my department. I'm in a city where there is all sorts of concern about the "lack of professional black men". I'm in a city where there's all sorts of concern about black on black youth violence. But in those 2 years not a single black person has invited me to their home. Not a single black person has said anything like "I've got someone I want you to meet." It's not like they don't know I'm here. I'm easy to find (after all, there's a whole line of negroes who want something from me ... so they know where to go to get something). I'm not saying I'm all that. I'm really not very conceited. But you'd think that with all that "success" I've had (including an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D.) and with all those single black women out there (so I'm told) my experience should be very different than it has been. But, in fact, the first serious social opening came from a Peruvian couple I met recently. I have a standing invitation to come to their home whenever I like. And the wife has asked me if I date Latinas because she has a whole list of women she wants me to meet. I'm not saying this to brag. In fact, it ticks me off ... and I find it embarrassing ... and very enraging ... that I haven't been embraced and supported by my own damned people. But, after more than 2 years of trying, I've given up on trying to create a black social circle here. They're only concerned about you going to the "right" church and belonging to the "right" organizations. That's my biggest disappointment. I had hoped to meet more brothas and sistas when I moved here. I had hoped to have a supportive network of black people here. I wanted to have a special black woman in my life. But that hasn't happened. And I don't think it will. Not as long as I remain faithful to myself. So I spend most of my time alone ... with my photography ... pursuing my vision ... The truth is: I've paid a pretty big cost to be me. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And I'm damned lucky to be alive and sane. Brothas get rewarded more for f*cking up and being predictable ... than for being successful on their own terms and being a little different. Which might explain why there aren't more black men like me. Sorry for the rant. But I had to get that off of my chest .... 
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C2 |
Hey HBro,
Thank you for sharing your sentiments with us. I would say that it is a sacrifice involved with being and individual, especially in this country and this society. I applaud you and the brothers who have made a conscious choice to go against the grain and be different. That's why I love y'all so much.  "I find, in being black, a thing of "beauty"; like a joy; a strength; a secret cup of gladness." Beauty Ossie Davis |
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A4 |
All I can do is co-sign. "Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do."----Bruce Lee "The Tao of Jeet Kune Do" |
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C5 |
Brothas get rewarded more for f*cking up and being predictable ... than for being successful on their own terms and being a little different.
Which might explain why there aren't more black men like me. [/QUOTE] All I can do is co-sign.[/QUOTE] HB and xx: Thank you so much for this. HB, this statement speaks volumes! It is so incredibly accurate! (I've been typing this response for the last 20 minutes. For some reason, I am having the HARDEST time expressing myself today! Be back to finish later when I have my head in order! LOL) |
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A2 |
 Excuse me Honest brother....I know we don't talk[and it's cool] but I want you to know that you are the kind of "student" that encouraged me to go into teaching. And to go into teaching in areas where no "high ranking" teacher would go into. Cuz like you, I was the first "black" to do this, the first "black" to do that in the sea of whitefolks in the corporate world. For many years, I watched how CEOs/Senior Vice Presidents/Executive Directors mishandled black men who carried double degrees-how they treated them like high school grads instead of professionals in their field. I saw in horror how they downplay these Black men's remarkable achievements. And as a result of this mistreatment, I watched how many of these BRILLIANT BLACK MEN slowly broke down. Cuz they were not fighters, they were "thinkers." These highly intelligent minds began to lose their confidence...lose their dreams and methodically fizzled into nothingness. And for many of them, their "dream" became just a "job." I knew it was because of an innate jealousy from massa and this "got to break a black man down" campaign. But from that moment on....I said to myself NOT on my watch. As I said before I've always stood alone. The first black woman in several incidents: to be a leader in many executive offices, first to wear braids in an all white environment and so on. This was back in the day. I've seen it all-done subliminally and done out in the open. But for me? In my heart. I always heard ....what is a dream...when a dream's deferred? This echoed through me like a "heart beat." Call me crazy cuz I didn't have to, didn't financially need to but I decided to go into the detention centers, prisons, low-income areas where schools don't even have cafeterias or libraries to teach brilliant young black men how to keep their "dreams" close. They wore me out and still do don't get me wrong.."bay-bays to the tenth power" I call 'em and on many many occasions I have lost my cool and let them have it cuz I am a strong Black woman and take no mess from [anybody..especially] my students..but! This high tech world is what it is because of a Black man/woman's dream as children. I can make a list but I won't cuz we ALL know who they are but most importantly it STARTED with a DREAM. And transformed into REALITY. So brotha brotha....you are still a young man with many dreams ahead of you....dream on dream on. Cuz....the world [with all it's woes] is depending on your dreams.
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A2 |
what you mean why there aren't more. The world is full of talented Africans.The foundations of most of what we call a modern society was started by Africans, many of the inovations that changed the world , was created by Africans, even in bondange, we are brilliant and creative. The problem is we continue to Underestimate White supremacy. We are dependent the dominant culture to give us oportunities, we have to prove ourselve to White people, we have to jump through hoops, play down our intelligence, take lower positions, endure constant badgering and humiliations and if we do stand up for ourselves or show defiance, we are then outcasts, and when your an outcast, its 50 times harder to make it because unfortunately there are not enough black institutions to sustain and cultivate all the black talent thats out here. The question is not why arent there more, but how do we tap in to the huge talent pool that is often wasted in the ghettos of the world!
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The Secret Box |
HB-
I have no doubt that there are some beautiful brothers out there. I guess to me they aren't as visible or vocal as i would like them to be  (as vocal as you appear to be).hum i'm not surprised about your dominant self-perception being that of a rebel, i could definetely see that in your persona here.  I think black women receive little encouragement for their dreams in some avenues as well, maybe not to the extent that the black male does, but we do none the less. I can remember when i was in high school my guidance counselor, several of my teachers and even some friends pretty much encouraged me to go to the local community college as opposed to the private university i wanted to attend and graduate school was out of the question-completely not feasible/impossible to them, but i went to that private university and graduate school anyway while others went along with those expectations placed on them of what a black person can/should achieve and didn't pursue their real dreams. Down here hospitiality, travel, and tourism is a big market. I noticed while in high school it was mostly the black students who were encouraged to go into those fields right out of high school, while the white students were encouraged to attend college.  I think you may intimidate some people, particularly women. With all the "success" you have achieved in your life they may feel they don't measure up so, they don't approach you. Just speaking for myself, i know i love an intelligent man, but sometimes it can be a little intimidating dealing with one on a romantic level or even just a friendship level.-you worry about how they perceive you, are you on par with what they consider intelligent/their intelligence and if you are even on their level as far as your intellecutal capacity goes.  Remind me again what part of the country you are in? Isn't there a limited pool of black people in your area? Does this disconnect with other black people bother you enough that you would consider relocating? I can definetely say i agree with the fact that brothers aren't often rewarded for being different or successful on their own terms. It's sad to say that alot of people judge the black man that is "different" as not being black enough or somehow desiring to be white. you certainly answered my question  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Poor people desire money, rich people desire heaven, but the wise person desires tranquility. *Connecting home and school: http://www.modernparentsmagazine.com/ |
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The Secret Box |
I didn't necessarily mean to imply that there aren't more men like HB, i really meant why aren't more men who feel this way as vocal and visible as HB appears to be ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Poor people desire money, rich people desire heaven, but the wise person desires tranquility. *Connecting home and school: http://www.modernparentsmagazine.com/ |
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A1 |
Go for it! There are alot more black latinas than the so-called statistics in the travel guides and CIA factbook would suggest. They may not be very visible in the Latino community, due to both racism in US immigration policies and in latin america itself, but they do exist, and they are here. If you don't get up in the latino community, you won't meet them. They sometimes try to keep a rather low profile for obvious reasons. Go to latin bars. Go to latin dances and events. Date a few latinas, and you'll find out where they are. And if you go to a latin dance party, and some sexy afrolatina offers to teach you how to dance salsa...for God's sake say "yes"! I speak from experience here...
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A1 |
Yes, Zakar. This is really my point. There really are a lot more. But we have to do more to cultivate and nurture those qualities in our youth no matter where they are. If we don't, it becomes less likely that they'll show it  |
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A1 |
I don't wear all of that on my forehead ... 
I'm in Kentucky. There are a ton of black people. But if you're not a thug or a fuck-up ... or in the church-going crowd ... then there aren't many options. There are not a lot of what I consider "conscious" black people here. Definitely. I'm considering moving. I don't think I'll be here this time next year. That's one reason I was up in Chicago last weekend. |
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A1 |
Same here, you said it all.  ---------------------------------- "Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration." -- Abraham Lincoln -- "You may be the ones who own the plantations, but we are the ones WHO CUT THE CANE." --Jose Dolores from iQueimada!; English Translation: Burn! Modeled after Toussaint L'Overture-- |
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Black Ceasar |
HB, we've talked about this subject before, and you are so preaching to the choir. I wish I can move away my town. It's the same here in Macon. Too many women with a thug fetish in my city. I feel like a Will Smith in a 50 Cent universe here.
"There are two things that are infinite, human stupidity and the universe...and I'm not too sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein |
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The Secret Box |
oh but you do   so your thinking about making the move to the windy city then? I think you should go for it ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Poor people desire money, rich people desire heaven, but the wise person desires tranquility. *Connecting home and school: http://www.modernparentsmagazine.com/ |
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C2 |
And the City of Big Shoulders would be more than happy to have you here, HoBro! (especially me) "I find, in being black, a thing of "beauty"; like a joy; a strength; a secret cup of gladness." Beauty Ossie Davis |
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A1 |
Uhmmm. Am I sensing a subtle "let's meet" invitation?
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Tasmanian Angel |
You did GOOD, H-Bro!
I liked-ed that post!  But what in the #&!! made you think there were Black folk in Kentucky??  Where are you from?  BLACK by NATURE, PROUD by CHOICE. Before there was ANY history, there was BLACK history. |
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