The other morning, I was at my girlfriend's house. She was getting her daughter ready for school. She put a fake "afro-puff" on the 7 year old's hair. It looks nice, but I don't approve of fake hair generally, and I really disapprove of it on a child. But I didn't say anything.

The next morning, she mentioned that I appeared bothered the day before about the extension (and frankly, she knows me well enough to figure that I'd disapprove of such a thing anyway), and I told her why I see it as a problem. First, she told me I was over-analyzing, but I strongly believe that fake hair sends black girls the wrong messages about the "nature" of their hair, which in turn sends a message about being black that I feel we have the opportunity to nip in the bud when they're that age.

What does anybody think of this issue? For those who agree with me that this is a problem, what is the most effective way to communicate this to a woman when the child in question is not mine?

Vox,

I'm torn on this one....

I feel weave, bras, thongs, boobs, and high heels are for grown folks....

but then again, weave has become so universally accepted that we view it really as decoration/enhancement ----not compensation for lack of euro hair

so is wearing a fake afro puff the equivalent of wearing that lil pink strawberry smelling lipstick? beauty play?

If you are not involved with the woman, keep quiet. If you are, unless asked, keep quiet. When asked tell the truth if you are seriously involved. If not, lie.

When I saw your post title, I immediately remembered an experience.

I occasionally give lectures at prisons. On this occasion, I had passed through the scanner, and was waiting for my excort. A large African American woman came into the check point. She was taller than all the guards, and they looked at each other with some "recognition." The woman did project an attitude.

She emptied her pockets and was motioned to the scanner. Bells went off. She removed jewelry even rings. She was motioned through again. Bells went off. She had metal trim on her shoes. They asked her to remove the metal or the shoes. She removed the shoes. They motioned her through again. Bells went off.

The guards said nothing. It was clear she was now down to the "personals." They asked her what she wanted to do. She extended her arms and reach to her head, and removed some pins, and waited. They motioned her through again. Bells went off. By the time she could pass through the scanner, without bells, more than 50% of the hair that was on her head, was on the counter. The guards said, "Thank you ma'am." Under great strain.

This "sistah" now really had an attitude. But she "gave it up."

PEACE

Jim Chester

You are who you say you are. Your children are who you say you are.

LOL @JWC

quote:

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Originally posted by James Wesley Chester:

If you are not involved with the woman, keep quiet. If you are, unless asked, keep quiet. When asked tell the truth if you are seriously involved. If not, lie.

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vox,

i understand what you're saying about the message that could be being sent to a child about their image or about the nature of their hair, but without a full understanding of WHY she uses the afro puff or any other "pieces" or extensions it's hard for me to say she's not possibly doing a good thing.

i know when my daughter was 5, 6, 7 i braided her hair weekly--and braided in false hair for length. i did whatever i could to keep her hair healthy, to allow it grow without being stressed and pulled on on a daily basis. the extension braids worked great and were cute!! she's now 13 and wears braids off and on for ease of care during sports.

as a black woman in the process of transitioning from chemically relaxed hair to my natural texture, i use fake pony tails daily (along with other maintenance). the p-tails are allowing my hair to grow without heat and stress--again a healthy hair environment.

one last thing...doing a little girls hair on a daily can be a chore depending on how much hair she has. puffs and the like can be a god-send for mom's trying to get everyone off in the morning on time.

red
BLACK
green

I personally think that age seven is too young to wear fake hair, however, I do see the convenience of braiding and how some extension can give the braids a little style. If parents are going to put extensions, weave, hair pieces in little girls hair, they should make sure that it is only for enhancement of the girl's own hair or enhancement of a style that can already be obtained basically without the weave; like to give a little length to a ponytail or braids. Parents of little African American girls should never give them the impression that there is something so wrong with their own hair just the way it is that it needs to be completely changed to look good. (Has to be straight, long, etc.) African American parents have to do more to break the cycle of psychological damage induced during slavery and beyond to brainwash black people into have poor self-images, i.e., nappy hair is ugly,short hair is ugly or unfeminine or unattractive. African Americans obsess too much over hair because of this.

JWC: All I can say is, Lord Ham Mercy!

'Spiritual & Nykkii: I don't know. I wasn't quite as vociferous about it mainly because I know that extensions have reached a point of acceptability, and "convenience." But it's still fake hair, and in my experience, even the most subtle message is still a message. Considering what other messages to the same effect are out there, fake hair on children, for whatever the reason, still seems at least to supplement the other messages out there. In the battle for black self-pride, hair is really the final frontier. It may not be that big a deal, but I still don't feel 100% comfortable with it.

vox--

save yourself the angst and you do her hair. lol

red
BLACK
green

But then, he remembers it's Nykkii...

I gotta agree with Vox that the wrong message is being sent. The little girl is being taught that her own hair is inadequate and somehow deficient; that only with enhancement is she presentable. Fake hair on a child should only be for playing in, like Mom's high heels.

I know working Mom's do it for convenience, but I don't think I ever could.

I too am in agreement with Vox, no fake hair generally, especially on a young girl unless it is for health reasons. As Isistah stated adding extensions at a young age subtly implants a feeling of inadequacy.

Vox, since your lady friend already know how you feel about the matter and the adornment of our hair is a sensitive subject. To possibly avoid an argument I would follow James suggestion and not overemphasize my opinion, rather "keep quiet." And compliment her daughter’s hair particularly when she wears it without the extension. Both will appreciate it and your lady friend may soon agree with you.

Still waters run deep.

quote:

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Originally posted by Nykkii:
vox--

save yourself the angst and you do her hair.

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Oh, I forgot to mention: aside from the fake Afro-puff, her real hair is very well done. Nice, elaborately braided, the works. The afro-puff is actually pretty unnecessary.

But Len, I will take your excellent advice.

[QUOTEnegrospiritual:
]I feel weave, bras, thongs, boobs, and high heels are for grown folks....[/QUOTE]

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I totally agree, vox...I don't like fake hair/extensions period...and it's shocking to see on a child.

My little sister and other siblings occasionally wear hair extensions. I grew up wearing hair extensions because I had no patience of letting my mom do my hair and she would have to hold me down to do my hair so we went with extensions which was deffinatly easier on her and gave me independece of doing my own hair in braids or other styles.My sister who just turned 8 had hair hair in extensions because her natural hair breaks so easy and by keeping it braided it allows growth and the fact that shes on a highly competitive dance team which requires many hair changes and her natural hair wasn't long enough to put in a bun for lyrical or jazz or pigtails in hip hop.We do however take breaks on the extensions like we will go for a month or so then put it back in but I however just leave my hair natural and relaxed.I thought I'd post some photos along with my post so u can see some photos of when we had extensions I honestly didn't think that they look age innaprorpiate or bad.

Katera Age 7


Katera Age 8



Me

Fake hair is extremely unattractive on anyone regardless of age.

Our little girls need to be rescued from the Black women who refuse to see the beauty of Black hair in its natural state.

Like I said I don't see anything wrong with someone chosing to where extensions or someone chosing to go natural. Each to their own.

And like I said...

Wearing hair that was stolen from a horse is stupid