I'm just curious... I've been on this site off and on for 4 years, and as the old timers on this board know, I used to be exclusively into Black men, Black everything, and basically screw all other races...

I still have pride for my race but I consider myself to have become more open minded.

For those of you who know me... Are you like, disappointed.. disgusted... etc., that I'm with a Mexican instead of one of the Black men I used to talk so highly about??

Please be honest, I'm curious. Oh and for the people who don't know me that well, does my having that picture up irritate you? Do I give off the vibe of maybe being a hypocrite?

Thanks, I just wanna know what y'all think.

quote:

Originally posted by SistahSouljah:
I'm just curious... I've been on this site off and on for 4 years, and as the old timers on this board know, I used to be exclusively into Black men, Black everything, and basically screw all other races...

I still have pride for my race but I consider myself to have become more open minded.

For those of you who know me... Are you like, disappointed.. disgusted... etc., that I'm with a Mexican instead of one of the Black men I used to talk so highly about??

Please be honest, I'm curious. Oh and for the people who don't know me that well, does my having that picture up irritate you? Do I give off the vibe of maybe being a hypocrite?

Thanks, I just wanna know what y'all think.

Doesn't bother me, but then again, I'm with the same Colombiana that I used to talk so highly about...

quote:

Originally posted by SistahSouljah:
I'm just curious... I've been on this site off and on for 4 years, and as the old timers on this board know, I used to be exclusively into Black men, Black everything, and basically screw all other races...

I still have pride for my race but I consider myself to have become more open minded.

For those of you who know me... Are you like, disappointed.. disgusted... etc., that I'm with a Mexican instead of one of the Black men I used to talk so highly about??

Please be honest, I'm curious. Oh and for the people who don't know me that well, does my having that picture up irritate you? Do I give off the vibe of maybe being a hypocrite?

Thanks, I just wanna know what y'all think.

Honestly?

I found it a bit jarring at first (the photo).

Still sorta do.

But if your love is sincere who am I to judge?

Love is hard enough to come by in this world. You can't always control the package in which it presents itself.

As for myself, I'm at a point where I just can't do interracial. I won't even consider it.

But that's me. And I can be (sometimes even unreasonably) stubborn that way.

In the end, no matter who you love, the most important thing is that you love, respect, and know yourself.

Long as you're happy... I'm surprised you even see fit to ask the board. Just keep in mind: the responses you get will be as different as the people typing them. So the different responses will be a reflection of the people typing them, and not of anything truthful about you and your relationship.

I really do not care who you see, but I do not like the picture with the name, it appears incongrous. But even though I am no fan of interracial dating regarding black women (I do not care who black men date), it is not something I get to call, so do ya thang.

Thanks for your responses guys. I appreciate the honesty. Does anyone get vibe that I'm a hypocrite? Ever since my boyfriend and I got together I've been called all kinds of names from traitor to sell-out. Everyone has their own opinions and preferences and I respect that but it kinda sucks to be singled out like that and made to be a criminal.

I don't think I'm wrong. Love is love in whatever color it manifests itself, IMHO.

Why? he's technically black right? like JLo and whatnot....

but seriously, if this is what you want why should strangers on the net factor into a decision you've already made?

I mean who are we to you? At the end of the day you log off the computer and have to live your life... make sure you're sober and not making decisions out of desperation...

With respect, it seems like a sign of insecurity when you have to ask, like perhaps you are not settled with the decision yourself....

I think you guys look cute together. You can still uplift black men while being with someone of a different race... it doesn't make you a hypocrite, it makes you a woman whose found love. So I say more power to you and your mexican and may everything work out for you.

~Sistasouljah, when I first saw your pic I thought, "you go girl!" because you look cute together and appear to be close. And prior to that you spoke pleasantly about him, so that helped. I see no problem with you and your Mexican.~

Do your thang, sistahgirl!

Yes, some people can be judgmental and rude. As if your relationship is any of their business!

Anyone who is not going to do for you what your man does for you needs to STFU and go find their own business to interfere in! ('scuse my French!)

If your relationship is enjoyable to you (first), and beneficial to you (second) .. don't worry about anybody else's trippin' over it. It's not worth it. Most people who complain about other people's relationship are not happy with or even have one of their own!

I was surprised.

And a little disappointed...as I always am when I get concerned for the well-being of our children.

I still have difficulty trusting 'others' with things important to me.

But...'It's Your Thing!'

HOTEP

Jim Chester

quote:

from JWC: I was surprised.

And a little disappointed...as I always am when I get concerned for the well-being of our children.

I still have difficulty trusting 'others' with things important to me.

~Oh, how things change....yet stay the same. What you said is a REPEAT of things said by white people about choosing US as a mate, or about US moving into the neighborhood, etc. Now, Mexicans are the "others", the "them". Should we be doing that?~

I don't get that he was making any assertion to the ethnic group other than they weren't black and that is how I feel about it too. You ain't black then I do not want to see you with a black woman and I do not want to see a black woman with you.

I don't really care what your other is at that point. I know I have issues when it comes to that and I accept it as that. I am a believer that you can find whatever you need in the black community, relationship-wise, but I live a rather segregated life.

I have no idea what choosing a Mexican mean about your devotion to black people. But why are you making us watch? That is really what I want to know, why? You could be having sex with all of Guadalajara and I could not care less, but why you put the picture up and up here? I am not saying it is something you should be ashamed of, but you also know that the picture is itself an affront to some black people. And it does tint every word you type here.

It is one thing to say that you were or even are in a relationship with someone who is not black, but you are pretty much screaming LOOK AT MY MEXICAN, he is better for me than the black man could ever be.

And as a black man, who is the father of two black sons, I really do not like that in my black face.

I do not know you, nor can I say I have read many of your post on this forum. Furthermore, the extent to which any of us on this forum know one another is through our interpretation of what each of us writes. Those on this forum that are familiar with me already know what I am going to say, but since you solicited forum member’s opinion, I will share mine.

I personally find it difficult to take serious anyone who espouses a pro-Black agenda while courting, dating or marrying someone that is not black. The truth that they speak may remain true, and I am a firm believer in the truth not being dependent on the behavior of those who speak it. However, I would be lying to you if I did not say the truth appears weak coming from someone who does not uphold the truth they speak in their own lives. You see we are not talking about someone who smokes marijuana telling children not to do drugs, or a carnivore telling us how unhealthy and toxic meat can be to the body. In cases of a person who espouses a pro-black agenda courting, dating and marrying someone that is not Black, we are talking about someone who is telling our people to love their Black selves and yet their most intimate relationship does not hold up to that very standard. I will always be suspect they will tow the line on certain issues, especially those where our interest are pit against the community from which their mate comes.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Faheem,

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There are Negroes who will never fight for freedom. There are Negroes who will seek profit for themselves from the struggle. There are even some Negroes who will cooperate with the oppressors. The hammer blows of discrimination, poverty, and segregation must warp and corrupt some. No one can pretend that because a people may be oppressed, every individual member is virtuous and worthy.

Martin Luther King

http://blackintrospection.com/

More to come later!

Your Brother Faheem

To each his own...in your case "her" own. And you are not alone in this. Harry Belafonte, Sidney Poiter, and others who dated or married interracially....were VERY instrumental and productive in terms of seeking and obtaining civil rights and JUSTICE for Black people. Although it stings a lot of folks [on both sides] when seeing these people talk that talk but don't walk the walk....STILL it's an individual decision. For me....being a hypocrite is INTENTIONALLY debasing black people in videos/movies/music where it depicts black women as whores, hookers, poverty-stricken ghetto fabulous and show black men as thugs, drug dealers and pimps or ignore being black or ignore being a part of the black race-all for that almight dollar and then when caught in a legal dispute with the threat of jail time scream "Rodney King." You have to go with what's in your heart. If you feel black, you are black. Nothing will change that. Not even who you date, marry and have children by. But you have to be sincere....and loyal to who you are as a "people"....not what's convienent at the time. In my view, you're STILL very young, with a lot more experience ahead of you. It's good that you're open minded with LIFE...cuz in LIFE there are more than just Black people living in it. That said. Hopefully, you can make a difference by letting those outside of the black spectrum know that being black.....is just like being regular folk. We love our families, we bleed, put our geographical time in and then we die...we are HUMAN just like everybody else on this planet. If you accomplish that while you live your life, then you are adding on to the positive side of what it means to be Black in America. Or Black in areas where we are the minority in power. But! just my two cents...is all. BTW people are people....all over the world. And it should be the BEHAVIOR of people in judgement INSTEAD of the color/culture-which I think is sooooooo ARROGANT! What we don't do OR can't do...unfortunately for some...is....make ourselves...although from what it seems like in the plastic surgery industry there are many folks STILL trying to remake themselves...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kocolicious,

quote:

Originally posted by SistahSouljah:
I used to be exclusively into Black men, Black everything, and basically screw all other races...

I still have pride for my race but I consider myself to have become more open minded.

Curious what produced the change?

I've said it before, so I'll just say it again...

quote:

Originally posted by Black Viking:
I've never taken issue with anyone that chooses to I/R date, or those who choose not to, or those who simply take it on a case by case basis.

What I do take issue with are Black folk (men and women) who refuse to date Black folk because Black folk have "issues". Yes, we all have issues... and all of our shared issues come from the same place. Using I/R dating as a feeble attempt at running from those issues is unhealthy. We can't run out of our own skins. Furthermore, no matter who we hook up with, we're still going to have Black children... who will have issues.

Generally, the only position (if you can call it a position) I take on relationships is "do no harm". No one should persue or maintain a relationship that harms themsleves or the other person. I/R relationships have an inherent potential to do a great deal of harm to both people if they're not handled correctly, or if they're pursued for the wrong reasons.

I didn't post this here because I assume any of this applies to you. I don't know you, so I won't judge. I posted this here because it might apply to you, just like it might apply to anyone in your situation. If it does then I think you have a problem, and this problem will only get worse if you don't address it. If it does not apply to you, then good... one less thing.

That said... You gotta do you Sister. You can't do anything for the Black community, or any community, or anyone for that matter... if you don't do you first.

That's not a pass to do for you at the expense of others. But, anyone who would have you believe that your I/R relationship in some way detracts from them is FOS.

PS. I like your avatar. The fact that you have the courage to post an actual picture of yourself on the internet says good things about you. There's a level of authenticity to it that can be done no other way in this medium. I've been planning to do it myself for some time... but I'm having trouble finding a pic that I like.

quote:

Originally posted by Wiz:
I really do not care who you see, but I do not like the picture with the name, it appears incongrous. But even though I am no fan of interracial dating regarding black women (I do not care who black men date), it is not something I get to call, so do ya thang.

~ ~

quote:

Originally posted by Wiz:

But why are you making us watch? That is really what I want to know, why? You could be having sex with all of Guadalajara and I could not care less, but why you put the picture up and up here? I am not saying it is something you should be ashamed of, but you also know that the picture is itself an affront to some black people. And it does tint every word you type here.

Nobody is making you watch anything. As far as I know, she doesn't have a webcam set up in her bedroom.

The picture is not an affront to anybody. It is just a pic of her and her boyfriend. No different than what you would see if they were walking down the street.

Hell, I've had several pics of my wife and I at various times as either avatars or in my sigfile in a number of internet forums, inluding this one, and probably will again, once I get tired of this silly roadrunner cartoon. It's really no big deal.

quote:

Nobody is making you watch anything.

And nobody is making YOU 'read' his post.

She ASKED for opinons and she got 'em.

If you have a problem with that, maybe you shouldn't read this thread. . .