Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

COMPASSION

Judge not the brother! There are secrets in his heart that you might weep to see
--Egbert Martin

There are few people we ever come to know with great intimacy. Even our spouses and lovers may be reluctant to share the hurts and fears and anguish in their hearts with us. We usually act with only partial knowledge of a person, and generally it is our own feelings we focus on.

We need not make elaborate excuses for all those who wrong us throughout our lives. We cannot allow ourselves to become abused. But generosity of spirit can salvage worthwhile and meaningful relationships. We can offer our ears and our understanding, but we cannot press another to open up what he prefers to keep closed.

When we understand how our own experiences have shaped us, we can begin to show compassion to others who may not have been so fortunate.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

SILENCE

If you're silent for a long time, people just arrive in your mind.
--Alice Walker

The "people" Alice Walker refers to are the characters in her stories.

When we are quiet and relaxed, ideas come to us. It may take some doing to let the stress and aggravations of daily life go, but if we can give ourselves that time, we may find ways to cut down on that stress. Life will then become more meaningful and pleasurable.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

SEX

A woman's love is a {man's} privilege and not his right.
--Terry McMillan, from Waiting to Exhale

There are some of us who are just too grateful to be loved, and this applies to men as well as women.

Women who regard men as bank accounts are as wrongheaded as men who treat women as either trophies or housekeepers. We need to see through to the individuals our partners are.

And we must hold to our dignity and make sure that we communicate our needs and feelings. With mutual respect we will know the privilege of love and live up to it.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

VICTIMHOOD

One of the recurring success themes in the African-American community is the frequency with which being a victim actually drives ambition.
----Audrey Edwards and Craig K. Polite,
from Children of the Dream

To be African-American implies that at least once in our lives, if not over and over again, we have known the meaning of victimization. Perhaps it was when we tried to get a promotion and were held back; when we browse through certain stores and are treated like would-be thieves.

If we are angry, let's use that anger. The idea is to created a world where we will feel less victimized, so that generations of African-Americans to come will know victimhood less and pride more.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

BIGOTRY

I grew up hearing about the ways black people were abused, but we were also told we were much better in many ways than the people who were doing this. We just absolutely did not understand why white people had to be so contrary.
---Bernice Johnson Reagan

While other ethnicities in our country may have it rough, there seems nothing like the animosity toward our people. But we cannot sit around trying to puzzle it out. Nor can we waste time lamenting the situation.

Rather, we need to use the heat of prejudice to solder our resolve to triumph. It should drive us to strengthen ourselves, through individual and collective effort.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

ACCEPTANCE

Start with what you know and build on what you have
----Kwame Nkrumah

We are who we are and we must build from there. Depending on our ambitions, this can be distressing. But there are inspiring examples of self-made successes, people who began with less than we have. Hard work, perseverance, and sheer will can work miracles.

Remember, too, that we are a part of a collective enterprise. Even if we do not go as far as we'd like, those who follow us, by standing on our shoulders, will have a shorter climb to make.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

VANITY

Vanity is the beginning of corruption.
---Joaquim Maria Machado De Assis

A certain degree of vanity is seen as healthy. It implies we are proud of ourselves. But vanity can be our ruination if, self-satisfied, we allow our drive to accomplish things to be slowed or stalled. Too much time spent solely on touting our beauty, our strength, or our talents leaves less time to put our abilities to good use.

Flatter can become addictive. And when we can be flattered, we can often be bought. Flattery opens us up to the machinations of others who would like to weaken us. We stop working, even for ourselves, because, after all, we know how great we are.

"Mirror time" serves a purpose. We African-Americans, in particular, hear too many negatives and not enough compliments. But taking time to appreciate ourselves should inspire us to put down the mirror and take care of business.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

CREATIVITY

There is a use for almost everything.
---George Washington Carver

. . .Yes, even the lowly little peanut, which had been rather overlooked until Carver got to it.

Our history in this country required us to be ingenious. Today we must use our ingenuity more than ever--in acquiring jobs, making professional advances, and improving our living conditions.

There is not one of us who does not have strengths, talents, and unique abilities. We must nurture them in ourselves and in our children. If we don't, we are wasting the best parts of ourselves.

There is no such thing as an unskilled laborer. Let us determine our skills. The benefits are ours.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

SEX

Blacks comprise 14% of New York State's population, but in 1991 comprised 40% of the state's AIDS cases. "AIDS in future generations may be primarily a disease of black people," said Lorna McBarnette, executive deputy commissioner, New York State heat department.
--The New York Times

Scary. But we don't need to accept this as our fate, as McBarnette points out in the article. Acting responsibly is the only answer. Abstinence is obviously the safest way to go, but many of us will find it difficult to commit to that.

Condoms are the next best thing. We cannot let embarrassment keep us from doing what is necessary to decrease our risk. We need to speak frankly with each other--with our lovers, our children, our friends, our young people.

May 22, 2006. . .On this day, I will pledge in the future to have safe sex and to become better informed about the transmission of AIDS.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

ENVY

Do not despise or hate your neighbor because he has been a success; take care of your own case.
---William T. Vernon

What more useless emotion is there than envy? It is an interesting fact that we often don't even recognize that we have fallen victim to that green-eyed monster.

Example: a friend lands a prestigious new job, earning what must be a handsome wage. What do we do? Give her a pat on the back, then turn around and think smugly, "That company stinks; she'll never go higher than where she is now." We diminish her accomplishment, write it off to luck, or belittle her in other respects--her looks or her love life.

Maybe it makes us feel better--temporarily. Days later we're still bemoaning our awful luck. All this time spent unproductively. How much more affirming to let our friend's success inspire us to achieve our own. Envy divides us, and our people can ill afford to be divided.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

OBSTACLES

We must use time creatively. . .and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.
---Martin Luther King, Jr.

Once in a while we like to convince ourselves that we've missed the boat. It's just too late to do anything about it, we say. Maybe it's too late to patch up an ailing relationship; too late to forge a closer bond with our child; too late to go back to school; too late to make a career change. When we tell ourselves this, we take the easy way out, because to act requires energy and effort. To act also poses a risk of failure.

Why not assume success instead of failure and let that inspire us to work toward our goal. "How can I do this?" are magic words when issued in a positive frame of mind.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

NETWORKING

A single bracelet does not jingle.
-- CONGO proverb

Some of us, especially when we are young, are under the mistaken impression that whatever our endeavor, we've got to go it alone. We make it a point of honor not to ask for help. But it is seldom that anyone does anything alone. This especially holds for those who seem most favored; Ivy League alums have no compunction about making a few phone calls to secure Junior an interview with the company president.

There are African-Americans who have achieved success and are approachable and willing to help; we must make an effort to search them out. And we need not shy away from soliciting guidance from and making alliances with persons of any ethnicity. Contacts count, and we quickly learn that we can make a bit more noise with a few more business cards.

May 28, 2006. . . On this day, I will choose one likely person, and begin the long process of forging an alliance based on trust with him or her. Or I will suggest to someone I am beginning to trust that we get together over coffee.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

EMOTION

Emotion is what makes me what I am today. It makes me play bigger than I am.
--Charles Barkley

We can spend an awful lot of time denying our emotions, stifling our emotions, and fighting our emotions. In our society, emotion has come to take on a negative meaning, as something that reduces us or limits us. We learn very early how to hide or suppress our feelings for fear of anyone using them to belittle us.

What a shame we have cramped ourselves this way. Emotion can fuel us, giving us the power and stamina to persevere and to fight for what we want.

We are emotional beings; let's put all parts of ourselves to work.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

RELATIONSHIPS

Never follow a beast into its lair.
--CHUANA proverb

There are some people who are just plain no good for us. They include those who are physically and/or verbally abusive and those with addictions to drugs or alcohol. These folks need professional help and must themselves possess the ability to recognize their problem and the desire to change.

But beyond the obviously troubled individuals just mentioned, we must also be cautious about the people who can bring us down with their pessimism, their unfocused anger, their self-obsession, or their extreme possessiveness.

There are beasts, big and small, around us. Let's think twice before we accept their invitations to visit their lairs. It may not be so easy to get out.

Black Pearls

Daily Meditations,
Affirmations,
and Inspirations for
African-Americans

GRIEF

A month after her death, I found the courage to sleep in Mama's bed. I wanted to feel her spirit, even prayed, insane woman that I had become, for an apparition or a voice. . .I felt nothing except pain.
--Gloria Wade-Gayles

After the death of a loved one, it may seem the hardest thing to carry on, to put our lives back together. We've got to allow ourselves the time to grieve before we can think about tomorrow.

There are all kinds of grief in life; we can't really practice it in order to lessen it. But we can allow grief its time, and know that, as bereft as we feel, we will heal.